


The Space Between

by SkySmoke87



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Cheating, Clexa, Extramarital Affairs, F/F, F/M, Gen, Other, Someangst, affair, detectiveclarkegriffin, illtaghowiwant, justrollwithit, noiwonttellyouwhoisendgame, notaslowburn, plottofollow, smutatfirst, somesmut, specialagentlexa, tagsmaychangeasiwrite, theyarereallyintoeachother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:38:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 36,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkySmoke87/pseuds/SkySmoke87
Summary: Clarke Griffin is married to Bellamy Blake and while she is content, she's often wondered if there could be more for both of them. When special agent Lexa walks in to her life with an undercover assignment that turns her world upside down, could she be the "more" Clarke has always wondered about? There is an instant, intense connection between the women. Will it change their lives, or destroy them?(I suck at summaries, just give it a shot. Clarke is a homicide detecitve, Lexa is a special agent with the FBI. Shit gets real)Inspired by an edit on instagram by @skyline.0000My instagram is @more.than.just.surviving, come say hi





	1. Chapter one

Clarke Griffin was awoken from a deep sleep by the shrill ringing of her phone. She groaned and reached for it in the dark, inadvertently knocking it onto the floor.

 

“Fuck…” She muttered as she leaned over the edge of the bed and finally found it. She hit the answer button without looking at the screen and held it up to her ear.

 

“Griffin.”

 

“Hey, sorry to wake you up but Cap says you need to get down to the precinct right now.”

 

“Why?”

“He didn’t say, his words were tell Griffin to get her ass here now.”

 

“Dammit, alright O. Tell him I’m on my way.”

 

“Will do. Sorry Clarke. I know it was a late night last night.”

 

“Not your fault. I’ll see you soon. Please make fresh coffee so I don’t have to drink that mud the night shift makes.”

 

“No problem.”

 

Clarke hung up the phone and stretched as she sat it back on the nightstand. She sighed as her head fell back against the pillow. Her husband Bellamy rolled onto his side, his arm snaking around her waist and pulling her close.

 

“Do you have to go?” He whispered, his breath hot on her neck.

 

“Yep. Sorry it woke you up.”

“It’s okay, I know how it is.” He slipped his hand under her shirt, running it over the skin of her stomach up to her breast, which he cupped softly.

“How soon do you have to go?”

“Right now.”

He grumbled in annoyance, his lips moving across her neck lightly as he ran his thumb across her nipple.

“Are you sure about that?”

He rolled over so he was hovering over her, holding himself up with his arms but she could feel his arousal against her thigh and she smirked up at him.

“Yes, I’m sure. It was your sister that called, apparently the captain said to get my ass there now.”

“The captain probably gets your ass more than I do.”

“That’s gross Bellamy.”

“I miss you, Clarke.”

He emphasized his point by sucking on her neck, which he knew drove her crazy, before kissing her deeply. She moaned into the kiss, her hands running up his arms before her fingers dug into his shoulders.

Fuck it, the captain wouldn’t know the difference. She’d been gone a lot lately and while she knew Bellamy understood her line of work better than almost anyone else, she still felt bad for him.

She shifted her hips underneath him and hooked one leg over his hip, her nails raking down his back as he entered her and later, her fists wrapping in the sheets as she muttered his name over and over as he sent her crashing over the edge while he murmured how much he loved her into her ear.

She laid next to him, her head on his chest and her knee across his thigh as she caught her breath, his hand running over her shoulder.

“I really do have to go.”

“I know, I’m sorry I was pushy but fuck I needed that. I needed you.”

She smiled as he kissed her temple softly as she got up.

“I’ll call you later.”

“Have a good day, be safe, I love you.”

“I will, you do the same, I love you too.”

Clarke showered and left the house about ten minutes later and hurried towards the precinct.

 

She found herself thinking about Bellamy and their relationship as she drove. They’d met in high school; she was a freshman and he was a senior. Everyone said it would never work out once he graduated and there were times when it almost didn’t, but they always managed to figure things out. He had been Clarke’s first and only boyfriend. It had started off as a friendship; Clarke was friends with Bellamy’s sister Octavia, but had developed in to something more and Bellamy had asked Clarke to winter formal and then to be his girlfriend a week later.

They’d stayed together through college and both of them ended up in law enforcement. Clarke was a homicide detective, Bellamy was in narcotics. His ultimate goal was to be a K-9 handler. They worked for different precincts and because Bellamy was already established when Clarke first applied, she’d kept her maiden name when they got married. She wanted her own career, not one just being Bellamy’s wife.

They’d never had or wanted children, despite Clarke’s mother’s disappointment. It was a decision neither of them had a problem coming to and Clarke was thankful that it was so easy for them to agree on.

She loved Bellamy, but felt guilty a lot because she always felt like Bellamy loved her more. She loved Bellamy in a comfortable, easy, safe way. She’d never felt the love that people talk about in romance books or movies; the kind that set your soul on fire. She knew he felt that kind of love for her and it always nagged at the back of her mind that he could have found someone better for him. They’d had the discussion and he insisted he wanted her regardless.  Despite all of that she still found herself wondering sometimes if they were really meant for each other. She felt guilty for thinking it, but she couldn’t help but wonder if there was someone out there that she was supposed to love the way Bellamy loved her; and if there was someone out there that would love him back the way he should be loved.

Clarke shook her heard to clear her thoughts before getting out of her car and heading in to the precinct.

“Thank god, the captain has been riding my ass looking for you.”

Octavia said as she walked in and dropped her bag at her desk.

“Sorry, I hurried. Your brother was…needy this morning.”

“Ew, Clarke. Gross.”

Clarke laughed as she took a sip of the coffee.

“Thanks O, this is great. Where is the captain and what is so important?”

“In the interrogation room, and I honestly have no idea. There are a few people in there with him, one of them is the most gorgeous brunette I’ve ever seen. She’s stunning. I’m not sure what she’s done, but I will happily interrogate her.”

“And I’m the gross one?”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Octavia as she headed toward the interrogation room. To her surprise, the doors to the observation room were locked and officers were standing outside. One of them saw her coming and knocked on the door. A few moments later the Captain opened the door.

“Griffin, finally. Get in here.” Captain Marcus Kane called from the door without greeting her with his typical smile.

“Sorry Sir, I came as soon as I could. It’s early, last night was a long night.”

“I know, and if you weren’t specifically being requested I wouldn’t have had Octavia bother you.”

“What is this about?”

“You’ll find out soon enough, come on in.”

Clarke followed him in to the observation area and was surprised that the observation window, which was really a mirror on one side, had been blacked out so she couldn’t see who was in the interrogation room.

“Sir?”

“It’s fine Clarke, but anything discussed in this room does not leave this room, regardless of the outcome. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good.”

They walked into the room and Clarke was surprised to find four other people in the room.

“Clarke Griffin, these are special agents Indra, Anya, Gustus and Lexa. This is detective Clarke Griffin.”

Clarke nodded politely at the four of them. They all wore similarly blank expressions on their faces.

Gustus stood closest to Lexa, his arms crossed. His stance was relaxed but alert; he looked like he was paying attention and ready for anything but not really worried about his ability to handle whatever happened. He was a large man, over six feet tall with long dark hair, a dark moustache and a long dark goatee. His dark eyes were set deep in a chiseled face; overall, he was a very intimidating presence.

Anya stood near Gustus, her arms behind her back. She had an exotic looking face with long dirty blonde hair that was pulled back in a half ponytail. She looked annoyed with whatever was going on and like she would rather be anywhere than where she was.

Indra stood on the other side of the table from the other three. She was an African American woman who looked older than the others, and also more confident. She had something that looked like a cross between an amused and bored smile on her face. Her hair was cut short, her eyes also dark.

Lexa was sitting at the table, her legs crossed and her elbows resting on the table. Clarke could see why Octavia had been drawn to her. She was beautiful; she had the kind of looks that turned heads on the street. Her long brown hair hung almost to her middle back and was down except for a few intricate braids that kept it pulled back from her face. She had a profile that belonged in a fashion magazine; a sharp jawline, high forehead and full pouty lips that Clarke oddly found herself wondering about kissing. Her eyes were a stormy green and hadn’t left Clarke since she walked in the room.

She noticed Clarke appraising all of them and the slightest of smiles played at the corners of her mouth on an otherwise expressionless face.

“Nice to meet you all.”

They all nodded in response but said nothing. Clarke waited for a moment and then turned to Kane.

“So, at some point is someone going to tell me why I’m here? Or am I suppose to start guessing? Playing twenty questions maybe?”

“Oh, fantastic, she thinks she’s funny.” Indra spoke, her voice dripping with annoyance. “I’ve told you this is not a good idea, Lex-“

Lexa silenced the older woman with a flick of her hand, which made Clarke raise her eyebrows.

“So, clearly you are in charge.” She commented and Lexa raised one eyebrow.

“What makes you draw that conclusion?” Her voice was expressionless, just like her face.

“Well, you silenced her with a flick of your wrist, so obviously you are at the very least in charge of her. You are the only one sitting, also indicates some level of respect from the others. The other two are standing behind you, between you and the only other door in to or out of this room. I would assume it is their job to protect you. Or at the very least his, because he looks like he’s ready to spring in to action at any given moment. He also looks like he could rip pretty much anyone to shreds. And Anya’s posture is that of someone waiting to be given a command. You on the other hand appear quite relaxed and confident. That is why I draw that conclusion.”

 

She held Lexa’s intense stare the entire time she spoke and thought she saw a flicker of amusement in the other woman’s eyes when she finished speaking.

Lexa was already impressed with the blonde, which was hard to do.

“You are very observant, Clarke.”

Clarke liked the way her name rolled out the brunette’s mouth, the k hanging a little longer than it normally would.

“It is part of my job.”

“Not everyone is good at their job.”

“I suppose not. So, seriously, is anyone going to tell me why I’m here?”

Kane cleared his throat and Clarke jumped slightly; she had forgotten he was in the room.

“They are all special agents with the FBI Clarke, and that information can never, ever leave this room.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“It could cost each one of them their lives.”

“Understood.”

“They have been undercover on the same assignment for almost three years now.”

“Three years?”

“Yes, it has been a very extensive assignment.” Indra commented from her side of the table, earning a quick glare from Lexa.

“As Indra said, it has been a very extensive, involved assignment that they hope is coming to an end soon.”

“And how do I come in to play in all of this?”

Lexa stood up from her chair and walked to the end of the table. She leaned against it, her hands lightly gripping the edge.

“I am second in command of the largest drug ring in the country.”

“Wait…you’re Heda?”

“I am.”

“You are one of the most wanted people in the country.”

“I am.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“The person I work directly underneath is known only as Mortem. I’ve never met him face to face; it is my goal because only once I know who he is can I take him down. He has dirty cops in every major city, every major precinct, except this one. His contact in this precinct left without notice. Transferred to another city. I have been tasked with finding his next contact. It means he is starting to trust me more. If I do this to his satisfaction, I am hoping he brings me even further in to his circle and I can finally bring him down.

You already have a reputation on the streets for being fair. I put out word to all the dealers around here and yours was the name that came back most often.”

 

“Okay, so what do you need from me?”

 

Lexa’s eyes met Kane’s briefly before settling back on Clarke’s.

 

“I need you to come undercover with me, in a sense. They will know you are a cop, but they are going to have to think you are dirty. My plan is that you will become my love interest. It will be the fastest way to have them trust you. Once that is established, the hope is that either you or I will eventually meet Mortem face to face and we will go from there with taking him down.”

“Your love interest? Why is that necessary?”

“It is a very close-knit circle. If I trust you, they will be quicker to trust you. They know I am not ever romantically involved, so if I am it will obviously mean that I trust you implicitly.”

“I’m married, to another cop; something I’m sure that is well known on the street.”

“It is, but it won’t be a problem. I’m also known for getting what I want.”

“They won’t worry about me confiding in my husband?”

“And have to explain your secret lesbian lover? No. If anything it would make you seem more trustworthy.”

“Okay, so let’s say I agree to this. What does it involve?”

“At first, not much. We would meet at a club for the first time. We’d be seen there together a few more times before slowly spending more time together. After that, you would be expected to travel with me occasionally. Not so much that it would affect your job as a cop, but enough to be believable that we are lovers. After that…I’m not sure. It will depend on what happens.

No one outside of this room can know any of this. If it gets out that we are not who we have been saying we are, Mortem will have us all killed without hesitation. We have spent years building this up.”

“Of course.”

“The rest of you leave please so I can speak to Clarke in private.”

Kane hesitated, glancing at Clarke before heading towards the door. She nodded slowly and turned her gaze back to Lexa’s as they left the room.

“So, do you think you’re up for it?”

Lexa asked, slowly standing up from the table and stepping in to Clarke’s space. The blonde was absolutely magnetic. She was gorgeous and her self confidence made her even more so. She had some of the most beautiful blue eyes Lexa had ever seen and the intelligence in them was evident in every glance.

“I think the more important question is do you think I’m up for it.”

Lexa raised one eyebrow and stepped closer, coming inches from Clarke. Clarke didn’t move but she could feel her heart racing and was pretty sure Lexa could hear it from where she stood.

“Can you play the part?”

“What do you think?”

Lexa held Clarke’s stare for a few more seconds before sliding her hand behind her neck and pulling her in to a kiss.

Clarke hesitated for a second before kissing her back. It was soft and tentative at first, then Clarke slowly slid her hand around Lexa’s waist and found herself pulling the brunette closer. Lexa’s other hand slid to her hip and rested there as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Clarke found herself getting lost in the kiss and ran her tongue over Lexa’s bottom lip before she really realized what she was doing. Lexa’s soft moan in response surprised her but she didn’t have time to think about it before their tongues met and she groaned deep in her throat, her other hand wrapping around Lexa’s waist as she kissed her back. Her whole body felt like it was on fire and when Lexa took her bottom lip between her teeth before pulling back from the kiss all she wanted was more.

Lexa laughed quietly as Clarke followed her when she pulled back. She was happy to oblige the blonde and kissed her again, her other hand untangling from the blonde hair it had been wrapped in and coming to rest on her other hip. She pulled her closer, their bodies flush against each other, and smiled into the kiss when Clarke whimpered. They were both breathless when Clarke pulled back.

“I’d say you’re up for it.” Lexa commented quietly; neither of them had stepped away from the other.

“Yea... me too…damn…”

“So, are. you in?”

“I… um… yes.”

“Good.” Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hip so softly she barely felt it, then she stepped back and it was like nothing had happened. Clarke’s head was reeling and all she wanted was to be close to Lexa again.

Lexa turned away from Clarke for a second to regain her composure. She hadn’t expected to react to the blonde the way she had but that kiss had blown her mind and all she wanted was more.

She had no doubt in her mind that Clarke Griffin was perfect for the job, she just wondered how much of it was going to end up needing to be an act.

“We’ll be in touch. Remember, no one can know anything about this. You put a lot of lives in danger.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone Lexa, I swear.”

“Good. Trust is everything on this team. I need to know I can trust you, Clarke.”

“You can.”

“I’ll believe you for now, but you’ll have to prove it.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

The corners of Lexa’s mouth barely turned up in a smile before she turned and left the room. Clarke sat the at table to collect herself for a minute before going back in to the precinct. _What the hell was that? I’m married, I shouldn’t be kissing someone else like that, or wanting more._ She thought to herself as she ran her hands through her hair.

Kane came in to the room a few minutes later.

“I’m guessing since I was given this that you told them yes.”

Kane slid a phone across the table to her. There was already a text message from Lexa on the screen.

“Yes, I told them yes.”

“This is a great opportunity for you Clarke. It could change your life.”

“Yea, I’ve noticed.”

“Just be careful. It’s a dangerous job.”

“I will be captain, thank you.”

He nodded and left the room and Clarke checked the message on the phone. It was the time, date and address to the club she was supposed to meet Lexa at along with the instructions to dress to turn heads and delete the message once she had the details.

_______________________________________________________

 

A week later Clarke was standing at the bar in the club from Lexa’s text message. She was dressed in a skin-tight navy-blue dress with spaghetti straps and a plunging V cut neckline. It came down to her mid- thigh and she’d worn black heels with laces that wrapped around her calf up to her knee. Her hair was down except for small pieces at the side that she had twisted back to keep them out of her face.

She’d been standing at the bar for almost ten minutes sipping on a coke when a young guy with sandy blonde hair walked up.

“Your presence has been requested in the VIP area, please follow me.”

“My presence?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Who is requesting my presence?”

“I do not ask questions ma’am, I simply do my job. My boss does not like to be disappointed. Please, come with me.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows but followed the young man to a separate room in the back of the club. It had a sliding glass door that was slid open and flanked by two guards. They nodded at the guy who was escorting her before scanning her quickly with a metal detector wand and nodding their approval. 

Clarke followed her escort in to the room to find Lexa sitting on a black leather couch along the back wall. Her mouth fell open as Lexa stood up and slowly walked towards her, looking every inch like a predatory animal.

Her dress clung to her like it had been custom made; it was emerald green with just a hint of shimmer. It’s thicker cut tank stop style sleeves showed off her toned arms. The V cut neckline showed just a hint of cleavage and the dress was just long enough to cover her ass, so it showed off every inch of her legs. Her heels were simple and in a shade of green that matched the dress.

 

“Heda, this is the woman you requested me to invite in.”

 

“Yes, thank you Aden, that is all for now.”

 

Lexa slowly smiled as her eyes wandered along Clarke’s body; she was even more gorgeous than she remembered. The dress fit her like a second skin and Lexa longed to reach out and run her hands along Clarke’s curves.

 

“Hello.” She practically purred as she stopped in front of Clarke.

 

“Hi. Who are you?”

 

“For now, you can call me Heda. What is your name?”

 

“Heda?  You expect me to just believe that? My name Clarke. Can I ask why you’ve invited me in here?”

 

“You can choose to believe it or not; And I asked you here because I appreciate the…finer things in life.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes. Care to join me for a drink? Maybe get to know each other?”

 

“Well I suppose, since I’m already in here, I might as well.”

Lexa’s lips barely turned up at the corners as she gestured towards the couch. Clarke walked past her and could feel her stare on her ass as she walked. She sat down on the couch and Lexa sat next to her, their legs brushing together. Lexa reached over and trailed one finger along Clarke’s thigh.

 

“So, Clarke, what brings you here tonight?”

 

“Just looking for a good time. I think I might have just found one.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Yea. So, Heda, what is it that you’re looking for tonight?”

 

“Same as you Clarke.”

 

They held each other’s gaze until someone next to them cleared their throat. It was another guy holding two margaritas. He held them out and they each took one. Clarke saw him notice her wedding ring.

 

“Heda, she is married.”

 

“Thank you, I noticed the ring as well, however I don’t think its going to be a problem.”

 

Clarke smiled coyly and raised one eyebrow.

 

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

 

“See? Thank you for the drinks.”

The guy nodded and disappeared to somewhere else in the room.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

 

“I’m a homicide detective actually, but I’m guessing if you are Heda, you already knew that. What about you? Assuming you are telling the truth that is.”

 

“I do know a few things about you, but it is politer to ask.  I specialize in more…personal recreation enhancement. I suppose you'll just have to use your judgement regarding the truth."

 

“Interesting. And who are all of these people?”

 

“Colleagues, a few friends, and a few employees.”

 

“I see. So, you must have had a reason to choose me over everyone else in this club.”

“I told you, I enjoy the finer things in life. You are…incredibly attractive.”

The heat from Lexa’s stare made Clarke blush and she felt arousal start to pool deep in her stomach.

“Would you like to dance?” Lexa asked.

“Sure, why not.”

“Lexa stood up and offered Clarke her hand, which she gave to her and let herself be led on to the dance floor.”

Once they were in the middle of the dance floor Lexa turned towards Clarke and started dancing. Clarke wasn’t surprised that she moved as if the music were actually coursing through her body and the way she moved her hips made Clarke think of all kinds of things she’d like to do to her.

Lexa smirked and moved closer to Clarke. She slipped her arms around Clarke’s waist and pulled her close, her hips moving against Clarke’s as she danced. Clarke moaned softly at the contact and started to move with Lexa. After a few minutes Clarke loosely draped her arms around Lexa’s neck and let herself relax in to the dancing.

 

“You look stunning Clarke.” Lexa said softly, her mouth close to Clarke’s ear.

 

“You’re one to talk, you’re gorgeous.”

“Hmm, you find me attractive?”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure everyone here does.”

“But I wasn’t asking about them, Clarke.” Lexa’s lips were almost touching Clarke’s ear and her breath on her skin made the blond shiver.

“Fuck yes I find you attractive.”

“Good.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s neck softly, her tongue swirling along the skin as she went. She moved along the top of Clarke’s shoulder, gently sucking and nipping at the skin as she went.

“That is pretty damn attractive too.” Clarke whispered as her hands gripped Lexa’s hips.

“You like that?”

“Yes.”

“And this?”

Lexa whispered just before her lips met Clarke’s. Her hands ran up her sides as she kissed her, her tongue slowly finding it’s way into Clarke’s mouth and flicking across the roof of it before pulling back.

“Yea, I like that too.” Clarke whispered back before kissing Lexa again. She slid her hand behind Lexa’s neck and pulled her closer, deeper into the kiss and they were both breathless as they pulled back.

_Good God Griffin, what the hell. You barely know her._

The dark passion in Lexa’s eyes almost took Clarke’s breath away; she’d never been drawn to anyone the way she was to Lexa. They danced for a few more songs; occasionally Lexa would kiss Clarke’s neck and shoulders but they mostly just danced, their bodies pressed against each other like they were made to fit together.

“You want to head back to the VIP section? There is a room where we could have more privacy to get to know each other.”

“Sounds great.” Clarke’s voice was raspy and deep as she let Lexa lead her off the dance floor and back to the VIP section. They walked into the big room and to the back corner where there was a door. Lexa waved Gustus over.

 

“We are not to be disturbed.” She instructed as she opened the door.

“Yes Heda.”

Lexa pulled Clarke in to the room and closed the door.

 

It was about the size of a small bedroom and was lined with several couches and chairs as well as a big screen TV mounted to one of the walls.

“So what’s up with the Heda thing?” Clarke asked once the door was all the way closed. Lexa shrugged. “It is my title.”

 

“Is this going how it’s supposed to so far?”

Lexa stepped in to Clarke’s space until her hands were resting on the blonde’s hips; it was an intimate gesture but was oddly comfortable.

 

“I don’t’ know, how do you think its going Clarke?”

 

“I think it’s going just fine.”

“I’d have to agree with you.”

“Good.” Clarke bit her bottom lip and smiled as she leaned forward and kissed Lexa.  Now that they were off the dance floor the kiss was needy and desperate and all of a sudden Clarke couldn’t get close enough to Lexa.

Lexa groaned and moved backwards, pulling Clarke with her until the back of her calves hit the couch. She had stepped off her shoes as she went and sat down on the couch. She tugged Clarke’s arm, inviting her to sit as well. Clarke slid her dress up so she could straddle Lexa’s lap and happily moved over her.

Lexa’s lips were on hers again as soon as she was close enough, their tongues dancing around each other as Lexa ran her hands up Clarke’s thighs, stopping at the fabric of her dress. Clarke moaned into the kiss and pressed closer against Lexa. Lexa pulled back from the kiss to kiss her neck and work her way down to the swell of her breasts, kissing and nipping at the skin along the neckline of the dress.

 

“God yes…” Clarke whined and arched in to Lexa’s touch. Lexa brought her hands up to cup Clarke’s breasts, running her thumb over the fabric of the dress until she felt her nipples harden.

 

“Oh my god Lexa…don’t stop.”

“What do you want, Clarke?” Lexa whispered in her ear.

“You.” Clarke moaned. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew what she was doing was wrong, but she didn’t care. She’d never wanted anyone the way she wanted Lexa. It was like there was some sort of magnetic force pulling them together.

Clarke’s moan nearly dissolved Lexa’s self-control. There was something about the blonde; she didn’t know why, but she was drawn to her. There was obviously a physical attraction between the two of them, but it also felt like it was more than just that. Lexa sucked lightly on her neck before whispering in her ear again,

“Show me.”

Clarke practically growled as she reached between them and ran her hands up Lexa’s thighs, pushing her dress with them. She shifted so she was straddling one of Lexa’s thighs and whimpered when Lexa bent that knee further, pushing her thigh up against Clarke’s center. Clarke bit her lip and groaned as she rocked her hips against Lexa’s thigh. Lexa could feel how wet Clarke was, even through her panties, and it made her shudder.

She kissed Clarke’s neck and sucked slowly on her pulse point, which made Clarke rock her hips against her again.

“Fuck Lexa…”

Lexa took Clarke’s hips and stopped her, earning a high-pitched whine from the blonde.

“Is this what you really want, Clarke?”

“Yes, please…”

Clarke’s answer was a quiet whimper and Lexa ran her hands up her sides slowly and over her arms until the blonde finally looked in to her eyes.

“You are married Clarke.” She whispered, her fingers trailing across Clarke’s collar bone so gently Clarke could barely feel them if it wasn’t for the trail of heat Lexa’s touch seemed to leave. She saw a flash of regret in Clarke’s stormy blue eyes as her words registered.

“I am.”

“This isn’t part of the assignment.”

“I know that. Do you not want this?”

 

“I didn’t say that; but are you sure you do? I am not the one who may have regrets.”

 

Lexa’s green eyes were soft; a stark contrast to the way they were when she was Heda. Clarke took a deep, shuddering breath and eased herself off of Lexa’s thigh; barely holding back a moan of disappointment. She held Lexa’s gaze for a moment before learning forward and kissing her again. The kiss was soft and slow; before Lexa could stop herself, her hand had slid behind Clarke’s neck and she was pulling her closer. Her other hand cupped Clarke’s cheek and she softly ran her thumb across it. Clarke sighed into the kiss as Lexa touched her face; she was pretty sure nothing had ever felt so right in her entire life. Lexa pulled back and rested her forehead against Clarke’s.

 

“I want you to be sure.”

“I am.”

 

“You’re not or you wouldn’t have stopped. I won’t deny there is something between us Clarke, but you are married.”

“And if I don’t care?”

 

“You care, but if you decide by the next time we meet that you want this anyhow, then that is the choice you make. But don’t make it like this.”

 

Clarke nodded slowly then stood up off Lexa’s lap and straightened her dress, suddenly embarrassed, she kept her eyes on the floor. Lexa noticed and tilted her chin up with one finger.

“Don’t be embarrassed.”

“I practically threw myself at you.”

“Clarke…if you weren’t married this wouldn’t be discussion at all.”

Clarke held her stare until Lexa smiled softly and kissed Clarke one more time before heading to the door. The shift as she became Heda before opening the door and heading back out into the room was very visible and Clarke marveled at it before she followed her out into the room.

 

“I had fun tonight Clarke. Will I be seeing you here again sometime?”

 

“Oh, I think you’ll be seeing quite a bit of me Heda. Thank you for tonight. We’ll be in touch.”

 

Clarke smiled as she turned and walked out of the VIP sections. As she left, one of the men who’d been hanging around in the VIP room came to stand beside Lexa.

“Did I hear correctly that she is a cop?”

“Yes you did, and I think she is exactly what we are looking for, but only time will tell.”

 

Clarke pulled in to the driveway at her house, turned the car off and sat with her forehead resting against the steering wheel.

 

“What the hell am I doing?”

 

She asked herself out loud. She’d thought about Lexa the entire drive home and no matter how much she knew it was wrong, she kept coming to the same conclusion; she didn’t care, she wanted her. She’d never felt that way about anyone else, ever. It was almost intoxicating how much she wanted Lexa.

She let out a long sigh before getting out of the car and closing the door quietly. She was hoping she could get up to the bedroom and in to bed without waking Bellamy up.

 

She wasn’t that lucky and he mumbled sleepily as she crawled in to bed.

 

“Hey Baby.”

 

“Hey, sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep.”

 

“It’s okay. I was hoping you would actually.”

 

He scooted up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist, slipping it under her shirt to rest against the bare skin of her stomach. He ran his hand up the middle of her stomach and between her breasts before running his palm over the front of one of them then squeezing it softly. She shifted backwards away from his touch and inadvertently pressed her ass against him; he groaned and she could tell he was already hard. He pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder.

“Have I told you how gorgeous you are?” He whispered as he slipped his other hand into the waistband of her shorts.

“Bellamy, its been a long day, I’m so tired.”

 

“I remember a time when you were never too tired for this.” He muttered, his hand trailing down her stomach and between her legs.

 

“You mean back when we first got married and I didn’t have a job that took up most of my life yet?”

 

“Yep, those were the days.”

“Bellamy…”

 

“Clarke, is something wrong? I feel like I have to beg you. Do you not want me anymore?”

Her heart ached at the sad tone in his voice. She knew how much he loved her; she loved him too but not in the same way. Guilt at what she felt when she was with Lexa crept into her mind and she shifted her hips, silently giving him the permission he was waiting for.

 

“Of course I do, I really am just tired, but I guess you could potentially convince me otherwise.”

She moaned softly as his fingers found her clit and quickly brought her to a climax based on years of knowing exactly what she liked. She closed her eyes as he entered her from behind and held her until they climaxed together, him murmuring in her ear that he loved her the whole time. A few tears escaped her eyes as she realized she was wondering what it would feel like had it been Lexa, not him.

_What the hell is wrong with me? He loves me so much and I’m thinking of another woman while we have sex._

 

She was relieved when he kissed her neck before loosely draping his arm across her waist and falling asleep.

 

It was much later when Clarke finally drifted to sleep, her thoughts haunted by brilliant green eyes, full lips and kisses that should have been wrong but felt so damn right.

 

The next text from Lexa came a week later and simply said:

 

**Same time, same place, different dress**

Clarke knew she was screwed when she immediately felt aroused at just the thought of seeing Lexa.

 

The dress she wore that night was plain black with a loose skirt that came to mid-thigh. There were diamond shaped cut-outs in the sides and front of the dress that exposed her skin.

 

She had been standing at the bar for a few minutes when the bartender came over and leaned on the bar in front of her.

 

“Hey, I’m Echo. What’s a gorgeous thing like you doing at a bar like this alone?”

 

“Oh, I’m waiting for someone actually.”

 

“Oh really, so you’re taken then?”

 

“Hm, in more ways than one.” Clarke lifted her left hand and used her thumb to spin her wedding ring around.

 

“Well that’s too bad. Can I get you something to drink?”

 

“No thank you, I’m okay.”

 

Echo nodded and went to help someone at the other end of the bar.

 

“Do you turn down all the pretty women who try to buy you drinks?”

 

Familiar arms slipped around her waist, hands sliding across the exposed skin of her stomach as Lexa whispered the question in her ear. Clarke’s heart skipped a beat and she smiled.

 

“No, I’m just waiting for the right one.”

 

“Hm, has she shown up yet.”

“Yea, I think she just did.”

 

“Hello Clarke, nice to see you here again.” Lexa let go of her waist and moved to stand beside her at the bar.

 

“Nice to see you too, Heda.”

 

“How about we skip the drinks and just dance?”

 

Clarke nodded and let Lexa take her hand and lead her to the dance floor. She pulled Clarke close and wrapped her arms around her waist as they danced. Clarke looped her arms around Lexa’s shoulders as the brunette’s lips found her neck.

 

_Damn that feels even better than I remembered._

“One of my colleagues wants to meet you tonight. He will be trying to figure out if you are straight laced or if you can be what we need at your precinct. Don’t go along too easily or it will look suspicious.”

 

Lexa whispered in her ear in between neck kisses.

 

“Got it.” Her answer was half sigh, half moan and Lexa tightened her grip on her waist.

 

“Not right now Clarke, you have to focus.”

Clarke nodded and brushed Lexa’s hair aside to lightly bite the side of her neck; Lexa’s groan was almost inaudible but Clarke heard it and smirked.

 

They danced for a few songs before Lexa took her hand and led her to the VIP section. There was a tall, bald gentleman sitting on the couch waiting for them. Lexa walked over and briefly dipped her head at him in greeting.

“This is Clarke; I told you about her last week. You requested to meet her.

“Yes, I did, thank you Heda. Clarke, please, sit down.”

 

Clarke sat down in a chair facing the couch, Lexa sat on the couch next to the man.

 

“So, Heda tells me you are a detective, is that correct.”

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

“And you are aware of her…business endeavors?”

 

“In a sense, yes. She never really said exactly what she does, but I can guess.”

 

“And how do you feel about that?”

 

“How am I supposed to feel? It doesn’t have much to do with me. I just came here looking for a good time.”

“What she does is illegal.”

 

“And I am currently off duty.”

 

“Interesting. And if you were not?”

 

“She’d still have to actively be breaking the law, not just telling me about it in vague terms.”

 

“What we do often times runs much smoother if we have a certain about of…assistance from law enforcement.”

 

“Yes, dirty cops help your…business quite a bit I’m sure.”

 

“Without them we would not operate very well at all. What do you think of them?”

“Dirty cops?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’ve often wondered why they do what they do. I’m guessing they are made an offer they can’t refuse.”

 

“Do you think they are wrong?”

 

“That is a complicated question, sometimes yes, sometimes no. The justice system is not perfect; sometimes things get handled better off the books.”

 

Clarke glanced at Lexa to find the corners of the brunettes mouth barely turned up in a smile and took it as a sign that things were going well.

 

“Off the books is often times better. So, if someone were to make you an offer you couldn’t refuse, would you be willing to do some things off the books?”

 

“I don’t’ know, maybe someone should make me an offer.”

 

“Three percent of what is made in your area monthly.”

 

“Three percent doesn’t sound like much; I would be risking my job and my freedom.”

 

“Five.”

 

“That’s getting better; but what makes you so sure you can trust me?”

 

“Heda is not often attracted to others for longer than they are useful to her. She told me after you were here last time that you might be what we were looking for. I trust her judgement. Six, take it or leave it.”

Clarke hesitated for a moment then held out her hand. The gentleman reached out and shook it firmly.

 

“My name is Titus, by the way. Heda will explain everything to you.”

 

Clarke nodded and when Lexa stood up she followed. They ended up in the same room they had been in the week before. Lexa closed the door and turned around and grinned at Clarke.

 

“That was perfect. You are perfect. And my god, this dress.”

 

Lexa crossed the room and pulled Clarke against her before pressing a searing kiss to her lips as her hands roamed across the skin left bare by Clarke’s dress. Lexa pulled Clarke to the couch then down on to her lap without ever breaking their kiss. Clarke moaned and wrapped her hands in Lexa’s hair then pulled back from the kiss, breathless.

 

“God damn you feel good.” Clarke muttered as Lexa’s hands slid down her sides. Lexa raised one eyebrow and slowly ran her tongue along the hollow of Clarke’s collar bone before kissing her neck then the top of her breasts, she gently raked her teeth along the skin and smiled at Clarke’s whimpering noises. Her hands moved to Clarke’s thighs; she ran her hands up them, her thumbs trailing along the inside of them. Clarke shivered.

“Lexa…”

“Hm?” She hummed into the skin of Clarke’s neck.

 

“I want you.”

 

“And your husband?” Lexa’s’ mouth never left Clarke’s skin, softly moving across her shoulders, neck and breasts.

 

“I should care, and maybe part of me does, but I want you. I thought about you when I was having sex with him.”

 

Lexa’s eyes flew up to meet hers and Clarke swore she saw a flash of possessiveness in them but it was gone after a second. Lexa slowly ran her hands up Clarke’s thighs under her dress to her hips before hooking her thumb in the waistband of her panties.

 

“Well, if you’re sure, we can just get rid of these.”

 

Clarke half stood and allowed Lexa to slowly slip her panties off. Clarke settled back onto her lap, straddling one thigh just as she had the week before only this time there was nothing between them. Lean moaned.

 

“God you’re wet.” She gripped Clarke’s hips and pulled her down harder on her thigh, making Clarke gasp.

 

“Fuck Lexa! Oh my god…”

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

 

“Yes, fuck…yes.”

Clarke was practically trembling against her and Lexa didn’t want to wait any longer.

“Then take it.”

Her words made something inside Clarke snap and she thrust her hips against Lexa’s thigh, moving faster and harder until she was whimper incoherent things into Lexa’s hair as her orgasm crashed over her body and she collapsed against Lexa, her hips occasionally twitching on their own as she came down.

Lexa slowly ran her hand across Clarke’s back until she was coherent again.

“Better?” She asked, her green eyes sparkling.

“God I needed that…I needed you…I’ve never…” “It’s okay, Clarke.” Lexa kissed her forehead, a move that was uncharacteristically sweet for her. Clarke relaxed against the front of her, her face in Lexa’s neck.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

 

“How much of this is…part of the assignment?”

“I’m pretty sure you just went above and beyond the call of duty.”

“No, you know what I mean.”

 

“I do.”

 

“And?”

 

“Out there, when other people are watching us, I am Heda. That is the part that I play. In here, when it’s only us, I’m just Lexa.”

 

“So…”

 

“None of what just happened was because it was required of me.”

 

Clarke let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding in, but she wasn’t sure if Lexa’s answer made her feel better or worse. She also wasn’t sure exactly what the hell was going on between her and Lexa; she only knew she’d never been drawn to anyone in her life the was she was drawn to the other woman.

 

“And you?” Lexa asked, her hand still idly moving up and down Clarke’s back.

 

“Huh?”

“How much of that was part of the assignment for you?”

 

“None of it…I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you…I got carried away…I’m sorry.”

 

“You have nothing to apologize for. If I didn’t feel the same way, none of this would have happened.”

 

Clarke’s eyes flew up to Lexa’s who smiled softly at her. Clarke smiled back and slowly trailed one hand up the skin on Lexa’s thigh.

“Then let me-“

 

“Not tonight Clarke. We will be spending a lot more time together.”

 

“But..do you not want-“

 

“No, I do, but I also know my people will wonder what is taking so long in here.”

“I’m pretty sure they could figure it out.”

“It is uncharacteristic of me to be this…. intimate with anyone. We have to make this believable. There is a lot riding on this.”

“I know…I just…”

“Clarke…if you don’t get off of my lap right now, I’m not going to be able to tell you no and we really can’t afford to mess this up. There will be plenty of time to continue to get to know each other. Clarke smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Lexa’s lips before standing up and pulling her panties back on. They straightened their hair and dresses.

 

“Now that Titus has agreed on a payment amount with you, you will start getting assignments. Most of them will be looking the other way to help a drug deal be completed.”

 

“I can handle that.”

 

“If something seems off, contact me with that phone I gave you. The one Titus will give you has a GPS tracking device so he always knows where everyone is; just be aware of that.” “Got it.”

 

“That’s about it. I’ll give you the phone and you just wait for directions.”

 

“When will I get to see you again?”

 

Lexa smiled and reached out to run a thumb across Clarke’s cheek, surprised by the affection she felt towards the blonde.

 

“Probably about a week or so. We don’t want anything to become super routine.”

 

“Hm, that’s a long time. Are you sure you don’t want me to…”

 

“Clarke… I want you to. But not right now. We can’t mess this up.”

 

“I  know, I know.”

 

Lexa smiled gently at her before kissing her one more time, their tongues moved together until Lexa slowly ran hers over the roof of Clarkes mouth before pulling back with a smile as Clarke moaned.

 

“Ready?”

 

Clarke nodded and they opened the door and went back into the VIP room to find Titus.

 

“She has the phone and is ready to work.”

 

“Thank you Heda. Nice to have a new business partner, Clarke.”

 

“Likewise Titus. I’ll be in touch.”

 

She nodded at them both as she walked away.

 

“You really think she’s the right one?” Titus asked as he watched Clarke leave.

 

“I do.”

“Well, for her sake I hope you are right, because otherwise she will pay with her life, you know that.”

 

“Yes, I am aware,”

 

“Very well, only time will tell then.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

It had been a week since Clarke had heard from Lexa and had it not been for the occasional text from Titus she would have wondered if it had all just been some really bizarre dream. 

 

If she closed her eyes she could still see Lexa’s brilliant green eyes, she could still feel her lips on her neck. She constantly wrestled with herself over how wrong it all was, especially when she was with Bellamy. 

 

It was easier to get lost in the daydreams when she was at work, but when she was at home with the man that she honestly loved, it was a much more guilt ridden feeling. 

 

She was standing in the kitchen doing the dishes, getting ready to make dinner when strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind. 

 

“Hello beautiful.” Bellamy whispered in her ear before kissing her neck. 

 

“Hello yourself. You’re home early?”

 

“Yep, I took time off to take you out. We haven’t spent any time together at all recently. I miss you.”

 

Clarke turned in his arms and kissed him softly. 

 

“I’ve missed you too. Where are we going?”

 

“That’s for me to know. Go get dressed.”

 

“How do I know what to wear if I don’t know where we’re going?”

 

“Wear that one dress I like.”

 

Twenty minutes later Clarke came back out in to the living room wearing Bellamy’s favorite dress; a simple, short red dress. It came to her mid thigh and had a plunging V neckline and tank top style sleeves. 

 

“God damn Clarke, maybe I shouldn’t have had you wear that. All I want to do is take it off.”

 

His voice was low as she walked across the room towards him. 

 

“Hm, you can do that later.”

 

He groaned as he pulled her close and kissed her; his hand running down her back and cupping her ass. She laughed and slapped his hand away. 

 

“Bellamy, behave.”

 

“You make that really hard. It’s not the only thing you make really hard...”

 

“Gross. No. That is not attractive at all and you know it.” 

 

“I know, but it’s fun to tease you sometimes. Let’s go.”

 

They held hands on the way to the restaurant, Bellamy’s thumb occasionally running softly over her knuckles. Clarke let her head fall back against the headrest and sighed. 

 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” 

 

“Nothing, just relaxing.”

 

“Good, you don’t do that very often.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I worry about you. You’ve seemed more stressed than usually lately. You know you can talk to me.”

 

Guilt made Clarke’s heart clench; she lifted their joined hands to her mouth and softly kissed the back of Bellamy’s hand. 

 

“I know. I’m okay.”

 

He smiled at her and the love in his eyes made her feel even worse; he’d always looked at her like she hung the stars. 

 

“We’re here.”

 

He announced as they pulled in to the parking lot of one of Clarke’s favorite restaurants, a steak house called Northwoods. 

 

“Aww, we haven’t been here in so long.”

 

“I know, and I know you love it here.”

 

“I do, you’re too good to me.”

 

Bellamy laughed as he got out of the car and walked around to open Clarke’s door. The gesture used to drive her crazy when they were younger, but she’d come to find it charming and it seemed to make him happy so she let him do it. 

 

She stepped out of the car and kissed his cheek before taking his hand as they headed into the restaurant. 

 

The wait for a table was about thirty minutes, so they found a table in the bar area and sat down. 

 

“Do you want something? I can go get it.” Clarke offered as Bellamy sat down. He started to get up and she put her hand on his shoulder. 

 

“You planned tonight, let me go get the drinks. Just sit for a second and relax.”

 

“Alright, I’ll take a beer.”

 

Clarke walked up to the bar and ordered a midori sour for herself and a beer for Bellamy. She was standing there waiting for the drinks when a familiar voice spoke from beside her. 

 

“Hey gorgeous.” 

 

Clarke turned to her right and found herself staring into Lexa’s bright green eyes. Her mouth went dry and she gripped the edge of the bar. Lexa smirked and raised one eyebrow and Clarke realized she’d forgotten just how stunning the other woman was. 

 

“Lexa...what are you doing here?”

 

“Business date.” 

 

Clarke flinched at her use of the word date, though she really had no right to. Lexa noticed anyways. 

 

“Don’t worry Clarke, he’s not my type.”

 

“I wasn’t worried.”

 

“Hm, okay.”

 

“I mean... it’s not like you can’t... we’re not...”

 

Clarke let her sentence trail off into silence and Lexa laughed quietly. The bartender brought Clarke her drinks and set them on the bar in front of her. 

 

“When your husband asks, because he’s been staring, tell him I complimented your dress and asked if you’d been here before and what to order.”

 

“When...will I see you again?” Clarke asked quietly, her eyes dropping to stare at the bar. 

 

“Meet me in the restroom in thirty  minutes.”

 

Lexa whispered before she walked back to her date. Clarke took a second to compose herself before heading back to Bellamy. 

 

“Thanks baby, who was that talking to you at the bar?”

 

He asked as she handed him his beer and sat down. 

 

“Oh, I don’t know. She said she liked my dress. Then asked if I’d been here before and what was good to eat. She was getting drinks too.”

 

Bellamy nodded and took a long drink of his beer. Clarke shifted in her seat, trying to ignore the fact that she was already turned on just from briefly talking to Lexa; it was ridiculous. 

 

She took a long drink of her drink as well, draining half of her glass. 

 

“Thirsty?” Bellamy teased. 

 

“It’s a good one. Besides, being a little buzzed sounds good right about now.”

 

“I won’t argue with that, it will help you relax.”

 

“Exactly. Plus you know I’m always more fun when I’m buzzed.” 

 

Clarke lowered her voice seductively and winked at him. 

 

“Damn you’re sexy. Maybe we should have skipped dinner and stayed home.”

 

“Patience Bellamy, patience.”

 

Bellamy laughed and took another drink of his beer while watching Clarke. Their conversation turned to idle chit chat about work and cases, new officers and the insane amount of paperwork they had piled on their desks. 

 

It didn’t take long for them to be called to their table and as they walked to it Clarke realized it had been about thirty minutes. 

 

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to run to the restroom. Order me another drink of the waiter comes please.”

 

Bellamy nodded and watched Clarke walk away. 

 

Lexa turned down the hallway to the bathrooms directly in front of Clarke. The place had been recently remodeled and rather than men’s and women’s restrooms with stalls, there were multiple single, gender neutral rooms. 

 

Lexa went in to the last one and after checking that no one was behind her, Clarke followed. She locked the door and turned around to find Lexa standing about a foot away from her. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

She said quietly, slowly smiling as Clarke stepped back against the door. 

 

“Hi yourself.”

 

“I like the dress, but red isn’t really your color.” 

 

“Oh? Bellamy picked it.”

 

“Figures. Titus has been pleased with you.”

 

“He has?”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“Well that’s good.”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

Lexa stepped closer, just inches away from Clarke. She reached out and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, her hand lingering on Clarke’s cheek for a second. 

 

“I think about you a lot.” She whispered. 

 

“You do?”

 

“I do. I’ve missed you.”

 

She leaned forward and kissed Clarke’s neck softly. Clarke couldn’t stop the low groan that came out of her mouth. She clenched her hands in to fists at her sides. Lexa noticed and stopped, stepping back. 

 

“Clarke, I’m sorry...do you not want-“

 

“No, I do. I just... I shouldn’t but fuck...”

 

Lexa stepped closer again, her hands running down Clarke’s sides to rest on her hips. 

 

“We don’t have to do this.”

 

“Why do I want you so bad?” Clarke asked, bringing her hand up to cup Lexa’s cheek. Lexa leaned in to the contact, her eyes closing briefly at Clarke’s touch. 

 

“Do you still think of me when you’re with your husband?” She asked quietly, her eyes fluttering open. 

 

“Yes.” Clarke blushed. 

 

Amusement and a trace of possessiveness flashed in Lexa’s eyes and she smiled.

 

“How wet are you right now?” 

 

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Clarke challenged even though her blush deepened 

 

Lexa smirked and pulled Clarke’s dress up to her waist before sliding her hand down her stomach and between her legs. 

 

Clarke moaned and her legs almost buckled when Lexa’s fingers found her clit.  She slid her hand behind Lexa’s neck and pulled her in to a deep kiss, whimpering into her mouth as she kept rubbing her clit. 

 

“Fuck. Jesus Lexa.”

 

“You’re so wet... do you want this?”

 

“Yes, god yes. Please don’t stop.”

 

Lexa kissed her again to silence her moaning as she slipped two fingers inside her. Clarke gripped Lexa’s shoulders hard and it wasn’t long until she was shaking against her, whimpering into her hair as her orgasm crashed over her. Lexa smiled as she slowly slid her fingers out of Clarke as she came down. 

 

“Better?” 

 

Clarke just whimpered against her; Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist and held her. 

 

“You feel so fucking good.”

 

Clarke whispered as she regained the ability to form words. She slid her hand between them and pulled down the zipper on Lexa’s jeans. 

 

“Your husband is going to wonder where you are.”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“Clarke...”

 

“I’m starting to think you don’t want this Lexa...is that it?”

 

“No, it’s just-“

 

“Then shut up and let me fuck you.”

 

Lexa gasped and Clarke smirked as she realized something. 

 

“Did you like that, Heda? Someone else taking control?”

 

Lexa whimpered as Clarke roughly pulled her pants down to her knees. 

 

“Is that what you want? You’re always the one in charge, does it turn you on if someone else takes control?”

 

Clarke put her hands on Lexa’s hips and pushed her back until her ass hit the counter of the sink. 

 

“Does it?” 

 

There was a challenge in Lexa’s green eyes as they met Clarke’s. Clarke held her stare as she slid two fingers inside her, her thumb pressing hard on her clit. Lexa’s hips thrust against her as she gripped the edge of the sink and parted her knees slightly. 

 

“Tell me what you want.”

 

Lexa whimpered in response, clenching around Clarke’s fingers, her hips rocking. 

 

“Say it.” Clarke growled.

 

“Fuck me.” Lexa moaned. Clarke curled her fingers, making Lexa gasp. 

 

“Beg for it.”

 

“Clarke...please... “

 

Lexa whined then bit her lip to keep from screaming as Clarke started moving her fingers hard and fast. 

 

“Yes, fuck right there.”

 

Lexa moaned. It didn’t take long before Clarke felt her clench around her fingers, then she collapsed forward and wrapped her arms around Clarke, burying her face in her shoulder to keep quiet as she came. 

 

“Jesus Christ Clarke.” She panted as she pulled her pants back up, her legs still trembling. Clarke blushed and stared at the floor as she straightened her dress. 

 

 _What the hell did I_ _just do?_

 

Lexa walked up to her, lifted her chin with one finger and kissed her softly. 

 

“Don’t be shy now, not after that.”

 

“What are we doing Lexa?”

 

“Having mind blowing sex in the bathroom at a restaurant?”

 

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh briefly.

 

“Yes, but other than that...what is this? What are we?”

 

“Clarke... you’re cheating on your husband. I’m the other woman. That’s what it is, if you want to give it a title.”

 

“But...I don’t...”

 

“Shh. Don’t think about it so much. We’ll have time to figure things out, ok?”

 

Clarke shook her head slowly, tears welling up in her eyes. 

 

“I shouldn’t be doing this...” she whispered. 

 

“We can stop any time you want...Clarke I don’t want this if you don’t...”

 

“But I do...god I’m a horrible person.”

 

“Stop. If you go out there crying he’s going to wonder what the hell is wrong with you. It’s already taken too long. Get yourself together, you have to go back out there.”

 

Clarke pressed herself against Lexa who sighed and wrapped her arms around her and ran her hands down her back. 

 

“Go. I’ll get in touch with you soon, ok?”

 

Lexa pushed her away gently before kissing her one more time. 

 

“I’ll miss you.” She whispered as she pulled back. 

 

“I’ll miss you too.” 

 

Clarke said softly as she watched her walk out the door. She made sure her dress was straight and that she had her tears in check before heading back to the table. 

 

“There you are, I was starting to worry.” Bellamy commented as she sat down. 

 

“Sorry, I think I drank that first drink too fast. I felt nauseous for a few minutes. I splashed some water on my face and just sat there for a little bit. I’m okay now.”

 

“Do you want to go home?”

 

“No, I’m starving. I’ll just drink the next one slower. I’m okay.”

 

“Are you sure, you look a little flushed.”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Bellamy smiled and held her hand across the table. Clarke took a sip of the drink he’d ordered her, hoping if she got at least buzzed it would take the edge off of some of the guilt that was eating at her stomach. 

 

They ordered their food and chatted about various things until it came and throughout the rest of the meal. Towards the end Bellamy put his fork down and leaned his elbows on the table. 

 

“So there is going to be an opening for a K9 handler in a few months. Captain said he would put in a good word for me.”

 

“Oh Bellamy that’s awesome!”

 

“I think I might have a pretty good chance this time.”

 

“I’m sure you do. That so cool. I’m really happy for you.”

 

“Thanks Clarke, I knew you would be. It’s for a narcotics handler too, so I’m hoping the fact that I’m already in narcotics might give me an edge.”

 

Clarke smiled at his enthusiasm as she finished her third drink. She could feel the alcohol starting to hit her and was blissfully less guilty feeling about her encounter with Lexa in the bathroom. 

 

“You want to go somewhere for desert? That one ice cream place you like?” Bellamy asked as their plates were cleared from the table. 

 

“No, lets just head home if you don’t mind.”

 

“I don’t mind, whatever you want.”

 

They paid the bill and Clarke wrapped her arm around his waist, leaning against his side as they walked out. 

 

Lexa watched them go from her seat in the bar section. Her date had left a long time ago, but she’d felt the odd compulsion to stay until Clarke left. She was surprised at the surge of jealousy she felt watching Clarke leave with her husband. 

 

For some reason she had a soft spot for the blonde. She really had missed her over the week they’d been apart and after their moment together in the bathroom, she felt like that feeling was going to get a lot worse.

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy unlocked the front door of their house and held it open for Clarke to walk in. He’d barely gotten it locked once he was inside and Clarke was on him; one first wrapped in the front of his shirt, the other sliding down the front of his pants as she kissed him passionately. He groaned in to her mouth, his hand snaking around her waist, pulling her close. 

 

“Do you want to take this to the bedroom?”

 

He grumbled against her lips as she pushed him back against the wall. She let go of his shirt and hooked her fingers in the belt loops of his pants to pull them down. She dropped on her knees in front of him as she did. 

 

“No. Here.”

 

She breathed as she wrapped her hand around his erection and her lips around the tip. 

 

“Clarke...fuck...oh my god.” 

 

Bellamy’s head fell back against the wall as he groaned. Clarke knew he loved sex kind of rough and totally unplanned; it was something she had to be in the right mood for, and she just wanted something to make her forget her guilt for a while. 

 

Bellamy wrapped his hands in her hair and gently pulled her head down further. She moaned around him and felt him thrust his hips against her mouth. She looked up to find him watching her. 

 

“Clarke...that so fucking hot baby.”

 

He pulled her head down even further and she moaned again as she took all of him in her mouth. She knew it drove him crazy and she wanted him to lose control. It worked and he thrust against her face harder with each one until he pulled out of her mouth. His hands were still wrapped in her hair and he pulled her until she was standing up and kissed her hard. 

 

“God damn Clarke, I want you so bad.” He growled

 

“Just fuck me Bellamy.” She panted into his ear. 

 

“Then get your ass to the bedroom.” 

 

He emphasized his point by reaching around and grabbing her ass hard. 

 

“No, here.  Now.”

 

He took her hips and guided her across the room to the couch. When the back of her thighs hit the arm she turned around and bent over it. 

 

“Fuck Clarke, seriously?”

 

She could hear the dark desire in his voice and she smiled back at him; it was what she’d been hoping for. 

 

“Bellamy, now.”

 

He flipped her dress up over her ass and pulled her underwear off in one smooth motion. He grabbed her hips and she braced herself for what she knew was coming but still cried out as he thrust deep into her in one smooth motion. 

 

“Clarke you feel so fucking good.” He groaned as he held himself still inside her. She clenched around him and he gripped her hips even harder. 

 

“Yes, so good baby, just like that.”

 

He muttered as he started thrusting in and out of her in long, hard strokes; but it wasn’t enough. 

 

“Harder.” She moaned. 

 

His fingers dug into her hips and she knew there would be bruises, she just didn’t care. She cried out when he thrust harder and the pleasure started to border on pain; but it was what she needed. Her mind was finally able to shut off everything else. It didn’t take her long after that to climax, screaming Bellamy’s name into the pillows on the couch as he kept going, collapsing against her a few minutes later, pinning her to the couch. It was hard to breathe, but she welcomed the weight. 

 

After a few minutes he kissed up the middle of her back to her shoulders. 

 

“My god Clarke, that was amazing.”

 

“Mhmm.” 

 

She whimpered as he slowly slid himself out of her then reached between her legs and rubbed her clit. 

 

“Ugh, too soon. Hurts.” She whined, jerking her hips away from him. 

 

“Just making sure you’re taken care of.”

 

“Mhmm, bed?”

 

Clarke mumbled, her body was sore and exhausted. Her mind hazy from the drinks. She was finally exactly where she wanted to be and she just wanted to sleep. 

 

She felt him pick her up, cradling her as he carried her to the bedroom. She leaned her head against his shoulder. Once they were in the bedroom she numbly shrugged off her dress and let him pull an old t-shirt over her head before she crawled in to bed. She curled on her side and it wasn’t long before Bellamy curled up behind her, pulling her against his chest. 

 

“You’re so amazing.”

 

“Hm, you weren’t bad yourself.”

 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything like that.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I know it’s not your thing usually, but fuck is it hot. Thank you.”

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“Good night Clarke, I love you.

 

“I love you too Bellamy.”

 

Clarke muttered before she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

* * *

 

 “Why do you have to be gone for three days again?”

 

Bellamy complained the next morning as Clarke packed a suitcase. She’d gotten a text in the middle of the night from Lexa instructing her to pack for three days and contact Kane for a story about why she was leaving. 

 

“I told you, I’ve been bugging Kane to let me try undercover and something has come up that he wants me on. I can’t tell you what, you know that.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d been asking about undercover? It’s dangerous Clarke.”

 

“This is why I didn’t tell you. There was no need to worry you until something came of it. I know is dangerous, but our jobs are dangerous every day. Just be happy for me? I’m excited about this.”

 

“I am happy for you, but I’m going to worry, and I’ll miss you.”

 

“Of course you’ll worry, but you worry anyhow. And I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

“Now I’m even more glad we went out last night, since I won’t see you for a while.”

 

He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her neck. 

 

“Last night was great, we need to do that more often.” 

 

Clarke sighed and let her head fall back against his shoulder. 

 

“Dinner or the really hot sex?” 

 

“Hmm, both if you’re good.”

 

“Then I’ll be on my very best behavior. Do you need me to drive you to the airport or anything?”

 

“No, Kane is having someone pick me up in about an hour. Go to work. I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

She turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his neck.

 

“I’ll miss you.” He whispered, kissing her neck again. 

 

“I’ll miss you too.”

 

She kissed him softly, for a minute before putting her hand on his chest and pushing him back

 

“Get to work. Stay safe, I love you.”

 

“Please be careful Clarke, I don’t even want to think about how I’d deal with losing you.”

 

“Hey, none of that.”

 

“I know, I just...I love you. So much.”

 

“I know Bellamy, I love you too. Get going.”

 

He kissed her one more time then headed out the front door to work. 

 

An hour later there was a soft knock on the front door. Clarke opened it and was surprised to find Lexa standing there. 

 

“Hey you.” She smiled at the surprised look on Clarke’s face. 

 

“Hi...what are you doing here?”

 

“I’m happy to see you too.” Lexa laughed. 

 

“I am...I just...”

 

“Are you going to let me come in? Or just make me stand on your porch?”

 

“Lexa...Bellamy...”

 

“Is at work. I’m sure you have people over occasionally Clarke, so unless you announced to your neighbors that you had sex with me in the bathroom at dinner last night, no one is going to think anything of me being here.”

 

Clarke blushed and opened the door for Lexa to come in. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her before reaching for Clarke, her hands resting on her hips as she pulled her close. 

 

“I wanted to come pick you up myself...I wanted to see you.”

 

Clarke had sworn to herself that she was going to end things with Lexa; that she was perfectly happy in her marriage to Bellamy and was going to destroy a perfectly good thing for a fling with someone she was incredibly attracted to. 

 

Then Lexa has walked in her front door saying she’d missed her; her eyes, touch and voice were so soft, her voice so sincere and even though they barely knew each other, Clarke swore part of her felt like she’d finally found where she was supposed to be when she was in Lexa’s arms. 

 

_God dammit, what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so hopeless when it comes to her?_

 

Lexa could see the conflict in Clarke’s brilliant blue eyes and it tugged at her heart a little. 

 

“Hey, whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours, we’ll have time to talk about it. Ok?”

 

“We will?”

 

“Yes. That’s part of the reason for this trip. We need to talk.”

 

“Work talk? Or us talk?”

 

“Both. But please don’t think that this, that you, are only work to me.”

 

She could see Clarke visibly relax at her words. She wasn’t sure what the hell was going on between her and the blonde, but she was determined to give it a chance because she’d never felt so connected to another person. 

 

“Can I kiss you, because if I’m being honest it’s all I’ve wanted to do since you opened that door.”

 

Clarke smiled and nodded, sighing as Lexa’s lips met hers. She didn’t understand how something that was so wrong could feel so incredibly right. She stepped closer to Lexa, wrapping her arms around the brunette’s shoulders and burying her face in her neck when she pulled back from the kiss. 

 

“I shouldn’t feel like this.” She whispered in to Lexa’s hair. 

 

“I probably shouldn’t either. Let’s get going. Like I said, we’ll have plenty of time to talk about everything. We have three days together.”

 

Clarke nodded and stepped away from Lexa. She grabbed her suitcase.

 

“Alright, where to?”

 

“Las Vegas. Let’s get going. We have a plane to catch.”

 

They walked out the front door and Clarke locked the house while Lexa loaded her luggage in to the truck and got in the back seat. Clarke got in next to her and closed the door. It was Gustus driving and he greeted her with a tense nod in the rearview mirror.

 

They rode in comfortable silence and after about ten minutes Lexa slid her hand across the back seat and looped her pinky finger over Clarke’s. Clarke glanced sideways at her and smiled as she turned her hand over so her palm was facing up. Lexa hesitated for a second before putting her hand in Clarke’s, weaving their fingers together.

They rode the rest of the way to the airport hand in hand, only letting go after they got out of the car because of a stern stare from Gustus.

 

“Heda, do you think she is ready for this?”

 

“I do Gustus, but thank you for your concern.”

 

“I just fear that she…that your feelings for her are going to become problematic, Heda.”

 

“They will not. And my feelings are none of your concern unless they affect this job; which they do not.”

 

“Yes Heda.”

 

Lexa walked away to check in for their flight. Clarke hesitated, looking at Gustus.

 

“I don’t intend to put her in danger, if that is what you are worried about.”

 

“I don’t think you do, but I think what is happening between you two is going to cross lines and that is going to put you both in danger.”

 

“I can do this job without feelings getting in the way. I’m aware of what is at risk here.”

 

Gustus quietly regarded her for a moment before nodding.

 

“Clarke? Let’s go.”

 

Clarke turned and followed Lexa, Gustus trailing behind them. She knew the other three agents didn’t think she was right for the job and she was determined to prove them wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke had a death grip on the arm rest of her seat as they waited to take off. Lexa noticed and ran her fingers over Clarke’s arm.

 

“Flying scares you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

Lexa smiled and put her hand over Clarke’s, rubbing circles on the back of it with her thumb. Clarke jumped as the plane started to move and grabbed Lexa’s hand. Lexa smiled and let her squeeze it until the plane leveled off once they were in the air. To her surprise, Clarke resumed her death grip on the arm rest. Lexa reached between them and raised the arm rest.

 

“What are you doing?” Clarke grumbled as she reluctantly let go.

 

“You’re obviously terrified.”

 

“Terrified is a strong word. I hate flying. I always have.”

 

“Clearly. Come here.”

 

Lexa tugged on her shirt sleeve and held her arm out, inviting Clarke to move closer. Clarke hesitated, looking around the plane.

 

“No one knows who you are Clarke. That’s the beauty of getting away.”

 

Clarke huffed and scooted closer, leaning against Lexa’s side. Lexa wrapped one arm around her, her hand resting against Clarke’s hip, her thumb softly stroking the skin under her shirt. She immediately felt the blonde relax.

 

“Better?”

 

“Yes actually, thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Clarke closed her eyes, amazed at how right it felt to be in Lexa’s arms. Things had always been comfortable and easy with Bellamy, but they’d never felt the way they did with Lexa. Nothing had ever felt the way it did with Lexa and no matter how much she thought about it she couldn’t figure out why.

 

Lexa leaned her head back in her seat and wondered what it was about the woman curled against her that drew her in so much. She already felt both protective and possessive over her; something she hadn’t felt towards anyone in years. They had a physical connection, that much was certain, but she felt like it was more than that. She felt drawn to the blonde in a way she’d never been drawn to anyone before. She knew how much trouble they could both land themselves in if they weren’t careful. She also knew they both needed to talk about what was going on between them before anything went much further; but there would be time for that later.

 

For the moment she was content to just enjoy having her in her arms.

 

* * *

 

 

“Lexa, this room is gorgeous.”

 

Clarke commented in awe as she looked around the room they were staying in at the Paris hotel.

 

“It’s my favorite hotel. Your room is next door.”

 

“My room?”

 

“Yes. We are checked in as one room to keep up the appearance of you being my lover, but we actually have the adjoining room next door as well. We will come and leave from the same room, but you do have your own.”

 

“The appearance of being your lover, huh? So is that what it is now?”

 

“Clarke…what’s going on between us…wasn’t part of the plan or the assignment, so when I booked the rooms I did not assume you would want to stay in the same one as me. Besides, what is it going to look like to Kane if we only have one room?”

 

“What is going on between us Lexa?”

 

“What do you want it to be, Clarke?”

 

Clarke sat down on the bed and sighed heavily. Lexa sat on the bed across from her.

 

“Talk to me.”

 

“I don’t know what I want it to be. I’ve been with Bellamy for a long time. I love him, he’s a great guy, but it’s never been that all consuming set your soul on fire kind of love. At least not from me. He loves me that way. Everything with him is safe and comfortable.”

 

“But…”

 

“I’ve always wondered if there was something more. If maybe him and I weren’t meant to be together. He deserves someone who loves him the way he loves me.”  


“And you, what do you deserve Clarke?”

 

“I don’t know. If that kind of love is out there for me, then of course I want to find it. What I don’t want is to destroy a marriage and a good man over something that is just sexual attraction.”

 

“I can understand that.”

 

“So…what is this to you Lexa? Am I just someone to have fun with for a while and then move on? Is it just really hot sex?”

 

“No. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not just sex. I’m not like that. What we’ve done…I’ve never done anything like it before. I’m drawn to you Clarke, like I’ve never been drawn to anyone else. And I don’t know why.”

 

“If I’m going to screw up my marriage, I want it to be for something that’s real. Do you think this could be?”

 

“I’m willing to find out.”

 

“You are?”

 

“I am. I’m not playing games with you Clarke. If I were, I wouldn’t have told you to wait that first day we were together. So, if you want to see where this all takes us, I’m in.”

 

Clarke smiled brightly at her and Lexa felt her heart skip a beat.

 

“I just ask one thing.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“if it ends up not working out, if it isn’t that all encompassing set your soul on fire kind of thing you are looking for, you tell me and we end it. No settling.”

 

“Same for you.”

 

They both nodded and Clarke felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her chest. She knew what she was doing was still wrong, but at least she was doing it for a chance at something real, not just something sexual.

 

Lexa stood up and walked over to her bed, leaned down and kissed her slowly. Her tongue ran across Clarke’s bottom lip and Clarke was happy to give her access. Their kiss deepened and Lexa slowly guided Clarke back on to the bed until she was laying on her back, Lexa straddling her. She kissed along Clarke’s neck, her hands running up her sides taking Clarke’s shirt with them. Clarke raised her arms as Lexa pulled her shirt off then leaned down and kissed her breasts along her bra.

 

“So the hot sex thing doesn’t have to stop, does it?” Lexa asked between kisses.

 

“You ask now that you have me half naked?”

 

“No I don’t.”

 

Clarke smirked and unfastened her bra, pulling it off and tossing it on the floor.

 

“You do now.”

 

“I take that as a no, it doesn’t have to stop?”

 

“No, it doesn’t.”

 

Lexa smiled slowly as she sucked Clarke’s nipple into her mouth, her thumb grazing across the other one. Clarke wrapped her hands in Lexa’s hair, her back arching, pushing her nipple further into Lexa’s mouth.

 

Lexa slid her hands between them and pulled off Clarke’s pants and underwear. She leaned back to look at Clarke and saw the bruises all over her hips.

 

“Jesus, what the hell happened?” She asked, moving so she was next to Clarke on the bed, her fingers lightly moving over the bruises.

 

“They’re from Bellamy. Last night. He…likes it rough sometimes and I just…wanted my brain to shut off for a while.”

 

“Damn.”

 

“It made me forget about the guilt for a while.”

 

“He should be able to make you forget without hurting you.”

 

“I’m okay Lexa, I told him it was okay.”

 

“Are you in to that? It being that rough?”

 

“I mean…not really. But it turns him on, so…depending on my mood I go along with it sometimes.”

 

Lexa shook her head and kissed the middle of Clarke’s stomach. She slowly worked her way across her body and to her hips, softly kissing all of the bruises. Clarke found herself relaxing despite how turned on she was.

 

“I can make you forget your own name and never be anywhere near that rough.”

 

Lexa whispered between kisses.

 

“Let me show you.”

 

She kissed down Clarke’s stomach and across her inner thighs, softly tormenting the blonde until finally she drug her tongue slowly across her clit. Clarke gasped and arched her hips off the bed. Lexa smiled and gently held her down.

 

She spent the next thirty minutes softly kissing and stroking every inch of Clarke’s body until Clarke was a writhing, whimpering mess beneath her.

 

 

She kissed her, their tongues lazily moving together like they’d been together for years.

 

“Lexa…please…”

 

Clarke whispered. Lexa smiled as she pulled her shirt, then bra off over her head. Clarke groaned, then sat up, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s waist as she took one nipple then the other in her mouth.

 

“Ugh Clarke, so good.”

 

Lexa moaned. Clarke ran her hands down Lexa’s body, tugging at the waistband of her pants until she’d pulled both them and her underwear off.

 

“God your gorgeous.” She whispered as she ran her hands down Lexa’s thighs.

 

“So are you.”

 

They fell back on to the bed together, tangled in each other. Everything was soft kisses, touches and caresses and Clarke found herself so turned on she was trembling. Lexa felt it too and slid her hand between Clarke’s legs and over her clit.

 

“God you’re wet” She groaned as her fingers made small circles causing Clarke to moan softly.

 

“I’m going to guess I’m not the only one.”

 

Clarke slipped her fingers across Lexa’s clit and the brunette’s hips jerked against her.

 

“You’re pretty fucking wet too.”

 

Lexa practically growled as she slid two fingers inside Clarke. Clarke gasped and did the same. They were still for a moment, then they found a rhythm, rocking against each other.

 

“Slow.” Lexa whispered, holding Clarke’s hip with the hand that wasn’t inside her.

 

Clarke whimpered but matched her tempo to Lexa’s. The buildup was agonizingly slow, but any time Clarke tried to go any faster Lexa would squeeze her hip or tell her to slow down. They kept up with the slow, soft neck kisses.

 

“Lexa, I’m so close.”

 

“Me too, just let it come Clarke, relax.”   


Clarke whined, her whole body shaking, then tensing as she came. Her hips jerked so strongly it almost doubled her in half. Lexa wasn’t far behind her, moaning Clarke’s name over and over in her neck as she shook against her. It took Clarke’s body a few minutes to stop twitching and convulsing and when it did she opened her eyes to find Lexa watching her. Lexa moaned as her hips jerked involuntarily, then she smiled at Clarke.

 

“See? Nothing rough about it. Does he make you come like that?”

 

“No, I’ve never…no one has…”

 

“Me either.”

 

Clarke pressed herself against the front of Lexa, her hips still twitching slightly, the rest of her body felt like jello.

 

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke, pulling her close. She pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

“Go to sleep. We’ll talk more when we wake up, then we’ll go to dinner.”

 

“Can I stay here?”

 

“Oh, I hadn’t planned on letting go of you.”

 

“Good.”

 

Clarke draped her arm across Lexa’s hip and was asleep within minutes. Lexa lightly ran her fingers over Clarke’s upper arm until she knew the other girl was asleep. Then she leaned her head against the blonde’s and allowed herself to fall asleep too.

 

* * *

 

 Lexa woke up and smiled at the fact that Clarke was still curled against her side. 

 

She slowly turned on her side so she was facing the blonde, being careful to not wake her up. She reached out and softly ran her fingers over Clarke’s arm then across her cheek. 

 

“Clarke?” 

 

She whispered and was surprised when the other girl mumbled something and scooted closer. Lexa ran her fingers through Clarke’s hair. 

 

“Wake up gorgeous.” 

 

“Ugh, why.”

 

She grumbled as she slowly opened her eyes. 

 

“Hey.  How are you feeling?”

 

“Fantastic. Everything feels...I haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Mhmm.” 

 

Clarke scooted closer, wrapping her arm across Lexa’s waist. Lexa smiled and ran her fingers along Clarke’s side and over her hip, gently tracing the edges of the bruises there. 

 

“Those really bother you, don’t they?”

 

“He hurt you.”

 

“With my consent.” 

 

“It doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t hurt you. Did the sex hurt too?”

 

“Kind of... but it’s what I wanted, I told you that.”

 

“No, you wanted to forget, not be hurt. He shouldn’t hurt you. He knows you aren’t really in to it, doesn’t he?”

 

“Yes, but sometimes I just... go with it because he enjoys it so much.”

 

“He shouldn’t enjoy hurting you Clarke. Is he ever soft with you?”

 

Clarke thought for a few seconds before answering. Sex with Bellamy had always been comfortable; she’d always felt safe with him. He never got any rougher then she was okay with, but she’d never really thought about the fact that he was never overly gentle either. 

 

“Not like you were, no....”

 

Lexa’s eyes met Clarke’s and Clarke was surprised at the sadness in them. 

 

“I’m okay Lexa.”

 

“He hurts you...”

 

“He doesn’t. Not all the time, and never more than I’m okay with.”

 

“He enjoys hurting you. He gets off on the power trip. It’s just...”

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t like that he hurts you.”

 

“Are you always this sweet?”

 

“No, not at all.”

 

Lexa trailed her fingers back up Clarke’s side and tangled them in her hair, gently pulling her closer. 

 

“Only with you.” 

 

She whispered before kissing her. Clarke sighed and kissed her back, neither of them pushing for anything more than what it was and only pulling back when their lungs ached for air. 

 

“Bellamy was my first and only boyfriend.” Clarke said quietly as they pulled back from the kiss. 

 

“You’ve only ever been with him?”

 

“Him and one girl in college when we broke up for a month. She was just a one-night thing when I was drunk and lonely.”

 

“So... your first time...was he...”

 

“He was careful.”

 

“At least there’s that. So... sex for you has always been...somewhat rough.”

 

“I never really thought of it until what we just did, but yes, I suppose it has been.”

 

Lexa kissed her softly again, her tongue gently flicking the roof of Clarke’s mouth before she pulled back. She kissed the side of her neck before nuzzling her face against it. 

 

“I’m sorry, it shouldn’t be that way.”

 

“Well now I know better, because you are incredible.” 

 

“Oh Clarke, I haven’t shown you anything yet. But we have an appointment to meet, so it will have to wait.”

 

“That means we have to get up.”

 

“It does.”

 

“Ugh. I like it here.”

 

“Me too actually. But we have to get going. We can’t be late. And then afterwards I’m taking you on a date.”

 

“A date?”

 

“Yes. You said you wanted to figure out if this is something real. How else are we supposed to do that?”

 

“I hadn’t really thought about it but I guess you’re right. It’s just...”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m married...I shouldn’t be dating.”

 

Clarke’s eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip started to quiver. Lexa reached out and stroked her cheek with her thumb. 

 

“Hey...don’t. Listen to me, I’m not expecting anything from you.  If at the end of this you want to stay with your husband I’m going to respect that decision and walk away. I realize that is the risk I’m taking in this. The risk we are taking in this. I know if Bellamy finds out you obviously risk losing your marriage. I’ll walk away, any time you say so. But...what if it’s all worth it?”

 

“I know...that’s why I’m still here. I can’t...I couldn’t just walk away from you without giving it a chance. It just makes me feel like such a horrible person.”

 

“I don’t think you’re a horrible person, but I’m also sleeping with a married woman… and really enjoying it, so maybe I’m not the best judge of character.”

 

Clarke laughed and Lexa smiled at her and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

 

“There, laughter looks much better on you than tears. Let’s get going.”

 

Clarke huffed and reluctantly got out of bed. She felt Lexa watching her as she searched for her clothes on the floor.

 

“I can feel you staring at me you know?”

 

“I’m not trying to hide it. You’re stunning.”

 

“Stop it.”

 

“No. You are Clarke.”

 

“Have you seen yourself Lexa?”

 

Lexa laughed quietly and got up to find her own clothes.

 

“So this meeting we are going to, it’s to pick up a pretty large quantity of drugs.”

 

“I…okay. What do I need to do?”

 

“Nothing. The people we are meeting with are rough, but Titus wants me to start including you in more things, which is what we want. I’m just warning you, they are not accepting of new people.”

 

“How so?”

 

“They may… try to intimidate you. Physically. They won’t actually hurt you. It will be made very clear that you are mine and they know better, but that won’t stop them from trying to scare you. They’re going to want to see what you’re made of.”

 

“Alright, how do you want me to act?”

 

“Like it doesn’t phase you. They will see fear as a weakness. Will you be okay with that?”

 

“Yea, I’ll be fine.”

 

“I’ll have a gun, but you won’t.”

 

“Will they?”

 

“Absolutely. Just don’t talk to them unless they speak to you first, and don’t react to their bullshit intimidation techniques. That’s all they are. They are dangerous people, but they are afraid of and respect me, so it will all be show.”

 

“Okay, I can handle that.”

 

“Good, lets go.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa and Clarke pulled into a remote parking lot off a small back alley just off the outskirts of downtown Las Vegas. Gustus was with them but had been instructed to wait in the car unless he was needed.

 

“Does he always come with you?” Clarke asked as they leaned against the hood waiting.

 

“Yes, and he always stays in the car. They know he’s here.”

 

Clarke nodded as a white SUV with blacked out windows slowly pulled in to the parking lot and stopped not far from them. Lexa raised her chin, her face becoming an expressionless mask, her eyes hard. The shift from the woman who’d been so soft with her in bed just hours earlier was incredible and Clarke stared at her for a moment before turning her attention to the men getting out of the car.

 

“Gentlemen.” Lexa nodded at them as they looked her way.

 

“Who the fuck is she? This wasn’t part of the plan.”

 

“She’s with me, and was a last minute addition. Titus’s request.”

 

“Oh, since when does Heda work for Titus?”

 

Lexa glared at the man for a moment before standing up and slowly walking over to him.

 

“Make no mistake, Titus works for me. That does not mean that his requests aren’t met should I see it fit. Is there going to be a problem?”

 

“How do we know we can trust her?”

 

“I already told you, she’s mine. If that isn’t reason enough then perhaps we should just call off this whole deal? Find partners who are a little more… trusting of such a long-standing relationship?”

 

“I don’t think that will be necessary. We do need to check that she’s not packing. Surely you understand that?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Also just to see what she’s made of.”

 

“Within reason.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Lexa gestured for Clarke to come over. She walked up and stood next to Lexa, meeting both men’s stares dead on.

 

“So, you’re her’s, huh?”

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

“Surely you understand our hesitation to just blindly trust you?”

 

“I do.”

 

“Good. Hold her so I can search her.”

 

The younger of the two men moved behind Clarke and wrapped his arm around her neck in a loose choke hold. He kicked her feet apart and used his other hand to twist one of her arms behind her back.

 

She kept her breathing even, her eyes flicking to Lexa’s briefly and getting a barely perceptible nod. The older man ran his hands all over her, taking an extra amount of time on her thighs and breasts before turning to Lexa.

 

“She’s clear.”

 

“Of course, she is. I’m the only one packing, you should know that by now.”

 

“Thought you said she was yours, what’s with the wedding ring?”

 

The younger man, who was still holding Clarke, asked with a sneer.

 

“She’s also married, doesn’t make her any less mine.”

 

“Is that right? You prefer her over your husband, blondie?”

 

“You heard her, I’m hers.”

 

“Well, maybe you just haven’t had the right man. I could fix that for you.”

 

He commented quietly, letting go of Clarke’s arm to slowly run his hand down her stomach, cupping her between her legs and pulling her back against him.

 

Before Clarke even had a chance to react Lexa had him flat on his back on the ground, her foot in the middle of his chest and her gun pointed at his head.

 

“You’re new, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know the rules. Everyone knows the rules when it comes to me. You don’t touch what is mine.” Her voice was low and cold. The man laying on the ground put his hands up in the air slowly.

“I’m sorry Heda, I didn’t mean anything by it, just testing her. You know how it is.”

 

“No. There are lines that don’t get crossed. It is a matter of respect. The only reason you don’t have a bullet in your brain is because I know you are new. Next time, I will not be so understanding.”

 

She took her foot off his chest and kicked him in the ribs before slipping her gun back in it’s holster and turning to the older man.

 

“Keep your people in line or I am afraid our relationship will not remain peaceful.”

 

“Yes Heda. I’m sorry, he was out of line. Are you okay?” He asked Clarke.

 

“Yes, I’m fine.” He nodded at her then turned his attention back to Lexa.

 

“He was out of line. And you were worried about her being trustworthy? Don’t let it happen again. Now, can we get on with this? You’ve already wasted enough of my time being petty.”

 

“Of course.”

 

He went to the back of the SUV and came back with a large rolling suitcase. The younger man was just managing to get himself off the ground and made a wide arc around Lexa to lean against the hood of their SUV clutching his side.

 

“Apologize to her. I don’t know who you think you are, or why you think your employer will tolerate that. You don’t touch women unless you are given permission.”

 

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” He said quietly, his eyes meeting Clarke’s briefly before looking down at the ground.

 

“Thank you.” Her voice was harsh and she kept her head up.

 

“Open the suitcase.” Lexa instructed.

 

The man nodded and laid the suitcase on its side and opened it. Lexa moved a few things around and nodded before closing it.

 

“Put it in the trunk.” She instructed Clarke.

 

Clarke took the suitcase, rolled it to the trunk and put it in before returning to Lexa.

 

“Here is your money, minus a thousand dollars for our little incident. If your boss has an issue, tell him to take it out of your associates cut.”

 

“It won’t be a problem. He won’t be a problem again Heda, I’ll make sure of it.”

 

“Good. Until next time then?”

 

They shook hands and he then held his hand out to Clarke. She shook it firmly and nodded at him.

 

“I apologize again on his behalf.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Both men got in the SUV and Lexa stood watching them drive away before knocking on the back door of their car. Gustus got out and moved to the driver’s seat.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked Clarke as he moved.

 

“Yes, thank you.”

 

“Maybe you were right about her Heda, I am impressed.”

 

Lexa nodded and opened the door, gesturing for Clarke to get in the back seat then slid in after her. Once the door was closed, she put her hand over Clarke’s.

 

“I’m so sorry.” She said softly, pulling Clarke in to her side.

 

“I’m okay Lexa.”

 

“That shouldn’t have happened, that isn’t tolerated. I’m so sorry Clarke.”

 

“Hey, I’m okay. It’s not your fault and its part of the job.”

 

Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke and ran her fingers up and down her arm. Clarke laughed softly and relaxed against her side.

 

“What is the laugh for?”

 

“Nothing really just… you’re so different. I mean you had that guy flat on his back with a gun pointed at his head before I could even really register what was going on, and now you’re so… sweet. It’s just such a big contrast.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“You’re protective.”

 

“I am, very much so.”

 

“Would you really shoot someone like that?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Have you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Lexa felt Clarke’s sharp intake of breath and braced herself for the blonde to pull away and was surprised when she didn’t.

 

“It’s part of the assignment Clarke, not who I am. Heda is a roll I have to play.”

 

“But…killing people like that?”

 

“Is something I avoid at all costs, but I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t done it, because I have.”

 

“How? We’re supposed to be the ones protecting people?”

 

“I am. Unfortunately, there has to be some loss to get to who I am trying to stop. Mortem doesn’t just run a country wide drug ring. He runs a human trafficking one, that includes children. Someone like that doesn’t just let anyone in their inner circle. You have to prove you are worthy. I’m so close.”

 

“You’ll get there.”

 

“We will get there. You were perfect just now. Word will get around.”

 

“Lexa… I don’t know if I could kill someone like that.”

 

“Hopefully it’s never expected of you. If it is… only you can ultimately make that call.”

 

Clarke nodded and the conversation drifted in to comfortable silence. Lexa kept tracing her fingers back and forth over Clarke’s arm and Clarke found it oddly comforting. After a few minutes Lexa leaned over and kissed the top of Clarke’s head and Clarke marveled again at how she could be both so terrifying and so soft.

 

“So… who am I getting to know in this process? Lexa or Heda?”

 

“Both.”

 

“And… how am I supposed to know how much of this is the assignment and how much of it isn’t? How much of this is Lexa, how much is Heda?”

 

“You’ll have to trust me. I told you before, none of this… what is going on between us, is part of the assignment. When we are in public, I have to play the part of Heda, even when we are out because Mortem has people everywhere. When we are behind closed doors… I’m just me.”

 

“I think I like you both.”

 

“It’s not two separate people Clarke, not entirely.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Okay. I just… please don’t think I only think of you as an assignment, because I don’t. I actually wish we had met under different circumstances.”

 

“But then we may not have met at all. Besides, this gives you a valid reason to take me out. We need to be seen together for Mortem to know its legit.”

 

“We do, but I wouldn’t need a reason to take you out. I’m doing it because I want to.”

 

Clarke sat up and kissed Lexa softly; Lexa sighed in to the kiss as she ran her tongue over Clarke’s bottom lip, deepening the kiss before pulling back smiling as Gustus cleared his throat.

 

“We’ll continue that later. Where are you taking me to dinner?”

 

“That is a surprise; first we have to go back to the hotel and change.”

 

“I’m not a fan of surprises, can’t you just tell me?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Please?”

 

“No Clarke, you’ll just have to wait.”

 

“Ugh, fine.”

 

Clarke dramatically flopped her head back against the headrest. Lexa laughed and took ahold of her hand. She gently spun her wedding ring around with her thumb.

 

“Does it bother you?” Clarke asked quietly.

 

“No. I mean, maybe a little, but not really.”

 

“Do you want me to take it off?”

 

“In public, no. It is common knowledge that you’re married. When it’s just us together… that is up to you. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Clarke nodded and leaned her head back against the seat, smiling as Lexa ran her thumb across her knuckles before putting their joined hands in her lap.

 

The past twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind, but she was oddly excited about dinner and even more excited to have the next few days to spend with Lexa without worrying about anyone seeing them together. She knew she should feel guilty about it, but she’d mad her choice so she shoved the guilt aside to deal with later and decided to just enjoy herself, and Lexa, as much as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments if they are kind. If you don't like the story, please feel free to stop reading. Negative/nasty comments are not welcome here. Thanks  
> Come say hi on Instagram, @more.than.just.surviving
> 
> No, I will not tag who is endgame. It’s a story, you have to read to find out. If it was a book, you wouldn’t know the end before you started reading. 
> 
> Comments asking/telling/insisting/suggesting that I change my tags will be ignored. I’m not changing them. Period. You’re free to type out the comment if you’d really like, but you’re wasting your time. I will delete it and the tags will remain the same.   
> Comments disrespecting either ship will also be ignored and deleted (this includes referring to Bellarke as anything but Bellarke, I consider Blork to be disrespectful because I know how the fandom uses it). You are welcome to say that you don’t like particular scenes/things if it is done in a respectful way. Otherwise, the comment will never see the light of say. I don’t tolerate the ship wars bullshit.
> 
> I don't typically post a lot of smut, if you've read my other fics you know this. That being said, it fits this story line. If you like it, great, if you don't please keep those comments to yourself.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Clarke stepped back and looked at herself in the mirror one last time, nervously pulling on the dress she was wearing. She laughed at herself for being nervous; it wasn’t like she hadn’t already had sex with Lexa, multiple times. A date shouldn’t make her nervous, but it was. Or rather, the implication of what the date could lead to was. 

 

She knew she was getting ahead of herself but she also realized that she was doing this with Lexa with the intention of possibly leaving Bellamy; and that made her head swim. Bellamy had always been her safe place. 

 

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and focused on the mirror again. Lexa had bought the dress for her. It was a simple cut, navy blue tank top style dress. There were two layers to it; the top one was lace and it came up higher on her chest and longer on her legs than the plain layer underneath. There was also a two-inch stripe running around her stomach that was just lace. It fit her well and hung to her mid-thigh. 

 

“Well, here goes nothing.”

 

She said to the mirror and headed in to Lexa’s room. They had taken advantage of the two rooms by getting ready in separate bathrooms. 

 

Lexa sucked in a short breath and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth when Clarke walked in to the room. 

 

“Damn, I under estimated just how much I’d like that dress on you. I don’t know that I’m going to be able to keep my hands off of you Clarke.”

 

“Who says I want you to?” Clarke’s voice was low and she raised one eyebrow at Lexa. 

 

“No, don’t give me that look or that dress is going to end up on the floor and we won’t be going anywhere.”

 

“I could say the same thing about you.”

 

Lexa’s black dress was skin tight and had eyelet holes running up the entire front of the dress, making it look like it was tied together. There was an oval shaped cutout at her stomach and the laces from that point up were slightly looser, exposing some of her skin. 

 

Clarke walked up to her and put her hands on her hips, running her thumbs over the skin of her stomach. 

 

“You look... incredible.”

 

“You too. Do you like the dress?”

 

“I do, but what I like more is the way you look at me in it.”

 

“Hm, that’s because I want to take it off of you... slowly...”

 

Lexa practically purred as she ran her fingers slowly up Clarke’s inner thigh. Clarke smiled and gently grabbed her wrist. 

 

“If you don’t stop that, we’ll never leave this room.”

 

“I’m starting to think that might be a better plan. Or, we’d still have time. Northwoods didn’t take long at all.”

 

“What are we, two horny teenagers who can’t keep their hands off of each other?” Clarke teased. 

 

“Something like that.”

 

Lexa whispered as she stepped forward, closing the space between them and kissing Clarke’s neck. 

 

“Lexa...”

 

“I know, I know. I’ll pick this up later when I can make you come the way I want to anyhow.”

 

“Hmm, like you did earlier?”

 

“To start.”

 

“Fuck...”

 

Clarke moaned as Lexa kissed up the side of her neck and tugged her earlobe between her teeth. 

 

“Yes, I fully intend to later.”

 

“You’re horrible.”

 

“You like it.”

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

Lexa smiled as she kissed Clarke, her hands running down her sides as she did. Clarke wrapped her arms loosely around Lexa’s neck and pulled her bottom lip with her teeth. 

 

“That’s so hot.” 

 

Lexa whispered as Clarke stepped back out of her embrace. 

 

“Let’s go? Before we don’t.”

 

“Good idea.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t believe you got a limo.”

 

Clarke laughed as she slid across the seat. Lexa smiled as she followed her. Gustus closed the door from the outside and got in up front with the driver. 

 

“It’s our first date, I have to impress you.”

 

“I’ve never been in one, so consider me impressed.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really.”

 

“Want to know something I’ve only ever told one other person?”

 

“If you want to tell me, I’d love to know.”

 

“It’s always been a fantasy of mine to have sex in one of these things.”

 

Lexa spoke softly and blushed as she looked down at the floor of the car.

 

“And you haven’t made it happen yet? That surprises me.”

 

“No. I had it planned for prom night actually. I even got brave enough ahead of time to ask the girl I was going with if she’d do it. She said yes so I had even paid for extra time, made up some bullshit place to take us for dinner that was way further away than needed.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“She stood me up, for some guy. I showed up at her house and there was already a group of her friends there taking pictures, another limo was there, the whole nine yards. When I asked her what was going on her whole group started laughing at me and she said she thought the whole thing had just been a joke, especially when I asked her about having sex in the limo.”

 

“What a bitch, I’m sorry. Was she your girlfriend?”

 

“No. We’d gone out a few times and messed around some, I fingered her once. Turns out that was all a secret from everyone and she was just using me to see if she was in to girls.”

 

“Lexa...that’s horrible.”

 

“My limo driver felt so bad for me he gave me all of my money back and said he’d take me anywhere I wanted to go.”

 

“How sweet.”

 

“Yea. I went and got ice cream and had him take me to the beach. I told him he could leave, but he sat in that parking lot for two hours while I sat out on the sand and just cried. I wondered what I’d done wrong to make her not like me. Any time we’d messed around she’d seemed like she liked it. She’d begged me to finger her the one time I did. I just ran everything over and over in my head until I was exhausted and then he drove me home.”

 

“Lexa...”

 

Clarke reached out and covered Lexa’s hand with hers on the seat between them. She could imagine the woman she was sitting in the car with now ever breaking down and crying like she was describing. 

 

“It’s okay Clarke, it was a long time ago. I’m a different person now.”

 

“Not entirely, that girl is still in there somewhere and I’m sorry that happened. It’s shitty.”

 

“You’re sweet Clarke.”

 

Lexa said softly, squeezing her hand. Clarke smiled back at her then smirked as she had an idea. She let go of Lexa’s hand and scooted up to the window by the driver. She knocked on it and it rolled down some. 

 

“Hey, can you drive us to the beginning of the strip and then down the whole thing. I’ve never been to Vegas and I want to see it all.”

 

“That’s the opposite way ma’am.”

 

“I know, I’ll make it worth your time when we stop.”

 

“Alright then.”

 

He rolled the window back up and Clarke moved back to Lexa’s side. 

 

“What did you do?” Lexa asked hesitantly.

 

“Gave us some more time.”

 

Clarke whispered, her voice husky as she moved to straddle Lexa’s lap and lazily kissed her neck.

 

“Clarke... I... thats not why I told you that story. You don’t have to...”

 

“I know. I want to.”

 

Lexa sighed and let her head fall back against the seat as Clarke ran her tongue along her collarbone. 

 

“What is it about this that turns you on so much?” Clarke whispered as she gently bit at the side of Lexa’s neck.

 

“Ugh. It’s public but it’s not. The driver is right there, there are people right outside. But no one knows.”

 

“Hm, if I make you scream loud enough they will.”

 

Lexa groaned as Clarke’s hands moved down her sides. She slid back on Lexa’s lap and got on her knees on the floor, kissing Lexa’s stomach as she went. She drug her nails down the outside of Lexa’s thighs over her dress, then pushed the dress up and over her hips. Lexa raised her hips off of the seat as Clarke pushed her dress up, then hooked her fingers in the waistband of her underwear and pulled them off. 

 

“Clarke...”

 

Her name was the only thing Lexa could manage to moan as Clarke spread her knees and slowly licked along her inner thigh. Her hips twitched when she felt Clarke’s breath so close to where she needed her, then she whined when Clarke started kissing her other thigh. 

 

“Clarke...please...”

 

“Shhh.”

 

Clarke hushed her as she reached under her dress and pulled off her own underwear. She moved back up to kiss Lexa and settled over one of her thighs. Lexa moaned low in her throat at feeling of Clarke’s slick heat against her leg. 

 

“Do you feel how wet I am? And you haven’t even touched me.”

 

Lexa whimpered and reached for Clarke’s hips but she pushed her hands away. 

 

“I’m already so fucking close Lexa, and you haven’t even done anything. There was nothing you did wrong back then either, that girl was an idiot.”

 

Clarke rocked her hips against Lexa’s thigh and moaned. 

 

“Clarke...god please...”

 

“You feel so good.”

 

Lexa could feel her clit throbbing and she squirmed in her seat, hoping for some kind of friction that she so desperately needed. Clarke rocked harder and faster against her thigh. 

 

“I’m so close Lexa, fuck...and you don’t even have to touch me.”

 

“Ugh, let me Clarke...please...”

 

“No....I....fuck Lexa...”

 

Clarke collapsed forward and kissed Lexa hard, her hips jerking on their own and her whole body shaking as she came. 

 

“Holy shit Clarke.”

 

“That’s what you do to me. Don’t you ever think you did anything wrong.”

 

She kissed Lexa’s neck as she caught her breath then moved back onto her knees on the floor. She kissed slowly down Lexa’s thighs, one then the other, and Lexa was trembling. 

 

“Clarke... please... I can’t anymore... I need you...”

 

Lexa’s voice was shaky and she gripped the edge of the seat so hard her nails were leaving imprints in the leather. Clarke put her arm across Lexa’s lower stomach, just above her hips, and held her down as she slowly drug her tongue along her clit while pressing two fingers inside her and curling them forward. 

 

“Clarke! Fuck...oh my god...”

 

Lexa screamed as she came hard, her hips jerking against Clarke’s hold, her thighs clamping together around her face. Clarke smiled as she kept up the slow, steady rhythm with her tongue and fingers. 

 

Lexa completely lost control and wrapped her hands in Clarke’s hair, pulling her closer as the thrust her hips into her face. 

 

“Shit Clarke...I’m so fucking close again... harder, please...”

 

Clarke sucked Lexa’s clit into her mouth then flicked her tongue against it as she drove her fingers deeper and harder.

 

“Yes, right there, oh my god...yes...”

 

Lexa whimpered, then tensed again, her second orgasm hitting her just as hard as the first. 

 

Clarke backed off with the pressure but never stopped with her tongue or her fingers. 

 

Lexa was panting, her body covered with a thin sheen of sweat. Her head fell back against the seat as she felt another orgasm quickly building. 

 

“Clarke...I don’t think I can...fuck....so good.”

 

Her whine changed to a low growl when Clarke replaced her tongue with her thumb and made slow, hard circles across her clit. 

 

“You okay? Do you want me to stop?” Clarke asked, softly stroking Lexa’s arm with her other hand. 

 

“No, god please don’t...so good...”

 

Clarke smiled and shifted up so she could kiss Lexa’s neck. The change in position tilted her fingers inside of Lexa, who moaned loudly. 

 

“Fuck...Clarke...”

 

“You’re so fucking amazing...come for me again Lexa.”

 

Lexa growled and kissed Clarke hard; it was all tongue and lip biting as she thrust her hips against Clarke’s hand. 

 

“So hot Lexa...Jesus...”

 

Clarke murmured as she bit the skin on the top of Lexa’s shoulder and moved her fingers faster, her thumb pressing harder against Lexa’s clit. 

 

“Yes! There, again...fuck!”

 

Clarke pressed hard on her clit again and her whole body jerked, her hips lifting up off the seat for a second before she collapsed back down in to it. Clarke slowly slid her fingers in and out then held them still as Lexa thrust against them slowly, then stopped, whimpering. 

 

Clarke slid them out of her and moved onto the seat beside her. 

 

“You’re so gorgeous, you know that?” 

 

Clarke whispered as Lexa curled into her side, pressing her face into her neck, still shaking. Clarke wrapped one arm around her and just held her quietly. 

 

Lexa tried to steady her breathing but gave up when her lower body wouldn’t stop twitching, small waves of her orgasm still making her whine in to Clarke’s neck. 

 

“So I’m pretty sure the driver and Gustus know exactly what we were doing back here, you were pretty loud.”

 

Clarke teased after they’d sat in silence for a while. 

 

“I don’t even care.” 

 

Lexa said softly, dropping her hand onto Clarke’s knee and running it slowly up her thigh. 

 

“I’m sure I can make you be just as loud.”

 

“Hm, I have no doubts that you can. But this was about you.”

 

Clarke took Lexa’s hand and weaved their fingers together. 

 

“I’m too tired to even argue with you right now.” 

 

“That good?”

 

“Fuck yes. Clarke that was... mind blowing. I’ve never come that hard back to back like that...”

 

“So, was it as good as it was in your fantasies?”

 

“So, so much better. Thank you.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me for sex Lexa, I feel like a hooker.”

 

“Not just the sex Clarke...but why you did it...and what you said.”

 

“I meant it.”

 

“I know.”

 

They sat there in silence for a little while until there was a knock on the drivers divider window and it rolled down about an inch.

 

“Ladies? We’re about five minutes from our destination. Did you need more...time to be presentable?”

 

“No, we’re fine, thank you.” Lexa called as she reached for her underwear and pulled them back on. 

 

Clarke giggled as she pulled hers on too and they straightened their dresses. Clarke ran her fingers through Lexa’s hair, straightening and smoothing it back down. 

 

“There...now you look-“

 

“Less like I just had my brains fucked out by a gorgeous blonde in the backseat of a limo?”

 

“I was going to say presentable again, but I supposed your description is probably more accurate.”

 

Lexa laughed as she straightened Clarke’s hair. 

 

“Now I look less like I just fucked your brains out?”

 

“You look perfect.”

 

Clarke blushed and Lexa kissed her softly before the limo pulled to a stop and Gustus opened the door. 

 

“Did you enjoy the ride Heda?”

 

“You have no idea.”

 

“Oh, I’m fairly certain I do. And probably half of the people on the strip.”

 

“Best limo ride ever.”

 

“Clearly Clarke is...talented.”

 

“Oh, the things she can do with that tongue. But don’t get any ideas Gustus, she all mine.”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it Heda.”

 

Clarke blushed profusely and stared at the ground as she got out of the limo.”

 

“Will I be staying with you Heda?”

 

“No, I think it’s fine. We’ll meet you back here in a few hours. I’ll contact you.”

 

Gustus nodded and got back in the limo. 

 

“Oh my god that was embarrassing.”

 

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s the truth.”

 

“Doesn’t mean Gustus needs to know.”

 

“Pretty sure you secured him knowing when you made me scream like that.”

 

“Touché.”

 

“Come on, lets go eat. I’m starving.”

 

Lexa took her hand and Clarke smiled at how natural it felt to be walking along holding hands with her. 

 

“Can I know where we’re going now?”

 

“Sure, the restaurant at the top of this hotel. It rotates so you get a different view of the strip as you eat.”

 

Clarke looked up and realized they were at the Stratosphere.

 

“Oh! I’ve heard of this place. Isn’t it hard to get reservations?”

 

“It can be. If you don’t know the right people.”

 

“Of course. Hey, can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“What was in that suitcase I put in the trunk?”

 

“You really want to know.”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Heroin.”

 

Clarke was quiet for a minute as they walked. It was easy when she was with Lexa to forget the seriousness of what had brought them together in the first place.

 

“Did you forget that at the core of all of this, I’m one of the biggest drug dealers in the country?”

 

Lexa’s voice was low and Clarke could tell from her body language that she was upset.

 

“No… I mean, yes. But you aren’t, not really.”

 

Lexa shook her head softly and Clarke remembered they were in public and things were different.

 

“We’ll talk about it later.” Lexa whispered, squeezing Clarke’s hand.

 

They walked into the hotel and through the casino to the elevator in silence. Once they were in the elevator Lexa pulled Clarke against her.

 

“I’m not mad.”

 

“I know, I mean I don’t know but you didn’t seem mad… not at me at least. It’s just a lot.”

 

“It is. Say when and it will stop; everything but the assignment.”

 

“No… that’s not what I want. It’s just quite a few big adjustments and sometimes it all hits me at once.”

 

“And other times?”

 

“Other times… other times everything feels… like everything I never knew I was missing. I know it’s wrong, I _know_ it’s wrong… but I don’t understand how it can feel so right.”

 

“Life is weird like that.”

 

“It certainly is. And you? What do you think about all of it?”

 

“I wish there was something I could do to make you feel less conflicted and guilty. I know you’re tearing yourself apart over it and in an ideal world I could take that away. I wonder how the hell you’ve gotten under my skin so quickly when I work so hard to keep everyone out. I worry that this is going to become dangerous for both of us, but mostly I worry about keeping you safe. I do agree with you though, it feels right.”

 

The elevator doors opened before Clarke had a chance to reply. She followed Lexa as they checked in at the hostess desk and were lead to a table right away.

 

“Oh wow…”

 

She remarked as she sat down at a table next to the window. Lexa smiled and sat down across from her; watching her more than the view.

 

“I thought you’d like it.”

 

“Like it, it’s amazing.”

 

Clarke gazed out the window at the lights of the strip and the desert beyond it for a few minutes then turned back to Lexa.

 

“Thank you, you didn’t have do this.”

 

“I wanted to. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Prom.”

 

“Wait…really?”

 

“Yes, really. There have been a few casual women since then, but no one I cared to impress and no one at all since before this assignment.”

 

“Why?”

 

“After that day, I threw myself in to what was left of school, then college, and then my work. I never wanted to feel that way again, so I just kept people away. It’s easy in this line of work anyhow; you’re pretty much married to the job.”

 

“True, but Lexa... you’re so… I just can’t imagine you not being with anyone for that long.”

 

“I’m only that way with you Clarke… it’s a side of me very few people see.”

 

“You should show it more often.”

 

“It would get me killed.”

 

“Well, maybe someday, when…things are different, it won’t.”

 

“Yea, maybe someday.”

 

“Do we have any more… business meetings?”

“No, we don’t. The next few days are just us.”

 

“That sounds all kinds of perfect.”

 

Lexa smiled and reached for Clarke’s hand across the table. Clarke gave it to her and she stared out the window, gently running her thumb over Clarke’s knuckles.

 

“Good Evening ladies, can I get you started with something to drink?”

 

“What do you recommend?”  Lexa asked.

 

“Are you here celebrating something special?”

 

“First date.”

 

“Oh, well that is fun. There are a few wines I can suggest if you’d like?”

 

“Just bring us your favorite, please.”

 

The waiter nodded and quickly walked away.

 

“Are you a big wine drinker?” Clarke asked.

 

“Not really, only at places like this where I know it will be good. I don’t know enough about it to pick out anything good.”

 

“Same here, I’ve only ever had it when someone else orders it for me.”

 

“I’m sure it will be good, everything here is. Speaking of that, do you have any idea what you want? Probably not since we haven’t touched the menu.”  


“Hmm, its fine, order for me?”

 

Lexa nodded and a few minutes later the waiter came back with wine and took their order. 

 

“Wow, this is really good.” Clarke commented as she took a sip of the wine.

 

“I’m glad you like it.”

 

“This whole thing is amazing Lexa… really.”

 

Lexa smiled at her over the top of her wine glass as she took another drink.

 

“You have the prettiest eyes, they’re so intense.”

 

“Thank you.” Clarke blushed.

 

“You blush a lot, it’s cute. Does your husband not say things like that to you often?”

 

“No, he does. He always tells me he thinks I’m gorgeous. It’s just different coming from you.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I don’t know… I guess him and I have been together for so long I’m used to hearing it?”

 

“He needs to find a different way then; you shouldn’t just be used to something like that. It means he doesn’t sound sincere when he says it.”

 

“No, he does. He looks at me like I’ve hung the moon in the sky. I think it’s partly because I know he loves me more? I know he means it when he says it, maybe I just take it for granted.”

 

“Maybe...”

 

“He doesn’t treat me bad Lexa. He’s not a bad guy. He’s actually a really great guy. He deserves someone who loves him the way he loves me. I’ve told him that many times.”

 

“You have bruises on your hips that say otherwise Clarke.”

 

“We just have to agree to disagree on that one.”

 

“Are you going to keep letting him do that to you when you go back?”

 

“I… I don’t know. I already know sex with him will never be the same. He doesn’t…make me feel the way you do.”

 

Lexa smiled slowly and Clarke laughed.

 

“Proud of yourself?”

 

“Glad someone can treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

 

Clarke giggled and the waiter came and served their food.

 

“Oh wow, this looks incredible.”

 

“It is.”

 

Lexa had ordered them both the same steak; it was the same thing she got any time she came.

 

“God, this is so good.” Clarke mumbled around her first bite. Comfortable silence settled over the table as they ate and watched the view change as the restaurant slowly rotated.

 

“Ugh, I’m stuffed. That was amazing.”

 

Clarke pushed her plate back and finished the last bit of wine in her glass.

 

“Thank you again Lexa.”

 

“You’re very welcome. Do you want to do something else? Or just head back to the room?”

 

“Would you mind if we just went to the room?”

 

“No, not at all.”

 

She got her phone out and let Gustus know to have the limo come back then paid the bill and they walked towards the elevator.

 

Clarke leaned against her as the doors closed and Lexa draped her arm across the blonde’s shoulders.

 

“To the room, or do you want to go to the Jacuzzi for a while?”

 

“Oh, that sounds really good, but I didn’t bring a suit.”

 

“We’ll get you one.”

 

“You don’t need to-“

 

“I know, I want to. Just let me.”

 

“Okay fine.” Clarke huffed as she climbed in to the back of the limo and they headed back to the hotel.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So this was pretty much the best idea ever.” 

 

Clarke sighed as she leaned her head against Lexa’s shoulder in the jacuzzi back at the hotel. 

 

“It feels so good.” 

 

“Yes it does.” Lexa agreed as she slid her arm around Clarke’s waist. 

 

There were other people in the jacuzzi but people pretty much kept to their own space. 

 

“Do you want a drink?” 

 

“Don’t want to get out.” Clarke mumbled. 

 

“You don’t have to. I’ll go get them. There is a pool bar.”

 

“Hmmm, sure. Piña colada please.”

 

“I’ll be right back.” 

 

Clarke watched as Lexa climbed out of the jacuzzi and walked towards the pool bar. More than a few heads turned and watched as she walked by and Clarke was surprised at the jealousy she felt. She leaned her head back against the edge of the jacuzzi and closed her eyes. 

 

“Mind if I sit here?” 

 

She opened her eyes to find a tall redhead gesturing to the spot close to her on the other side of where Lexa had been sitting. 

 

“No, go ahead.”

 

“Thanks. It’s just kind of crowded and you looked friendly.”

 

Clarke smiled as the woman sat down. 

 

“No problem.”

 

“I’m Tiffany.” She held out her hand before sitting down. 

 

“Hi, I’m Clarke.”

 

“Nice to meet you. That’s an unusual name.”

 

“For a girl at least, I know.” 

 

“It seems like it fits you.”

 

“I suppose so.”

 

“You have some of the most unbelievable eyes I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Tiffany sat down next to Clarke, a little closer than she would have liked. 

 

“I’m probably being really forward, but you’re really pretty.”

 

“I...thanks.”

 

Clarke stuttered as Tiffany ran her fingers up her outer thigh under the water. Clarke looked up to see Lexa walking down the steps into the jacuzzi carrying their drinks; she took one look at the redhead and Clarke could see the possessiveness in her eyes. She crossed the jacuzzi quickly and Tiffany noticed her as well and scooted closer to Clarke. 

 

Lexa raised one eyebrow at Clarke who softly shook her head no. 

 

“Sorry, finders keepers, she’s already taken.” 

 

Tiffany teased as Lexa walked up. Lexa said nothing as she set the drinks on the side of the jacuzzi then leaned down and kissed Clarke, sliding her hand behind her neck and pulling her close. Clarke moaned softly as Lexa’s tongue ran over the roof of her mouth. 

 

“Yes she is, she’s mine.” Lexa smirked at Tiffany as she pulled back from the kiss and sat down next to Clarke, pulling her against her side. Clarke bit her bottom lip and leaned in to Lexa’s embrace; smiling as Lexa kissed her neck. 

 

“Sorry, you didn’t really give me a chance to say anything.”

 

“No problem. She’s a lucky woman.”

 

“Hmm, I know.” Lexa mumbled against Clarke’s neck. 

 

Tiffany rolled her eyes and moved to another seat in the jacuzzi. 

 

“I can’t leave you alone at all can I?” Lexa teased. 

 

“Please, you should see the way people stare at you as you walk.”

 

“Jealous?”

 

“Maybe a little.”

 

“You have no reason to be. They can look all they want. I have no interest.”

 

Clarke smiled as she reached behind Lexa for her drink. 

 

“This is really good, thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, each of them lost in their own thoughts while drinking their drinks. After a while Clarke felt Lexa’s hand on her knee, her fingers slowly trailing up her inner thigh. 

 

“What are you going?” Clarke laughed as Lexa’s hand moved from her leg to her stomach, tracing a lazy circle around her bellybutton before slipping lower. 

 

“No clue what you’re talking about.” 

 

Lexa smiled as she slipped her hand in to the waistband of Clarke’s bikini. 

 

“Lexa...there are so many people here.” 

 

“Mhmm.”

 

“You’re nuts.” 

 

“About you.”

 

Clarke gasped as Lexa’s fingers brushed across her clit. 

 

“Jesus Lexa, are you serious?” 

 

“Unless you don’t want me to?”

 

Clarke groaned. She looked around the jacuzzi and while it was crowded, no one was paying any attention to them. Most of them were chatting amongst themselves or making out. 

 

Clarke turned and moved so she was straddling Lexa’s lap. Lexa grinned and put her hands on her hips, squeezing lightly. 

 

“You’re crazy, there are so many people.” 

 

“Part of the fun.”

 

“Ugh, you...drive me crazy.”

 

“Also part of the fun.”

 

Clarke glanced around again; still no one was paying attention. Lexa’s hands moved from her hips and slid across her stomach. 

 

“Stop looking so nervous. No one is paying any attention.”

 

Clarke leaned forward and kissed Lexa’s neck. 

 

“Is that a yes?” 

 

“Mhmm.”

 

Lexa smiled slowly as she slid her hand between Clarke’s legs and her fingers brushed across her clit, causing Clarke’s hips to jerk forward. Clarke whimpered softly into Lexa’s neck, her hands gripping her upper arms. 

 

Lexa made a few lazy circles around Clarke’s clit with her thumb before slowly slipping her fingers inside of her. 

 

“Fuck Lexa...”

 

Clarke sighed, clenching around her fingers as they slipped slowly in and out of her.

 

“All of these people, so close, and none of them know I’m fucking you.” Lexa whispered as she kissed Clarke’s neck. 

 

Clarke moaned and rocked her hips, driving Lexa’s fingers deeper. 

 

“God you feel good.”

 

“Keep moaning like that and people are going to start paying attention.” 

 

Lexa whispered, her thumb working faster around Clarke’s clit. 

 

“So close....ugh....why....”

 

Clarke whined quietly as Lexa stilled her fingers inside her and stopped rubbing her clit. 

 

“Shhh.”

 

“Lexa...please...”

 

Lexa curled and uncurled her fingers and Clarke groaned. 

 

“Clarke...quiet...” 

 

Lexa growled when a few people glanced their way. 

 

“Sorry, but god that felt good. Do it again.”

 

“Are you going to be quiet?”

 

“Asks the one who was screaming in the limo.”

 

Lexa laughed and curled her fingers again. Clarke whimpered, but it was a much quieter sound than her previous groan. 

 

“More.”

 

“So demanding.”

 

Lexa kissed Clarke’s neck, sucking softly on the skin as she did. 

 

“You have no idea how hard it is not to leave marks all over your damn neck.”

 

Clarke rocked her hips against Lexa’s fingers, whimpering when she curled them again. 

 

“I wish I could let you cuz fuck that feels good.” She whispered as Lexa’s mouth trailed down her neck, over her collar bone and across the top of her breasts. Her stomach muscles clenched as Lexa resumed the lazy circles around her clit with her thumb. 

 

“So good Lexa...fuck...”

 

Lexa kissed her, silencing some of her moans as she slid her fingers in and out slowly. She felt Clarke starting to tremble and stopped. 

 

“Why...” Clarke whined as Lexa pulled back from their kiss. 

 

“Because I can.” Lexa teased. 

 

“Fuck Lexa, I was so close...”

 

“I know. Patience Clarke.”

 

Lexa kissed her neck as she curled her fingers inside her. 

 

“Patience...when your doing that...fuck...”

 

“What do you want Clarke?” Lexa murmured into her neck. 

 

“You know what I want Lexa.”

 

“I do...but I want to hear you say it...”

 

Clarke whined as Lexa’s tongue trailed along her collar bone. She took her hand and tilted Lexa’s head up until their eyes met. 

 

“Fuck me.”

 

Lexa’s eyes went dark and Clarke moaned loudly as she pressed her fingers deeper and made hard, fast circles around her clit.

 

“Shhh.” Lexa whispered as half of the people in the Jacuzzi turned to look at them. Clarke bit her bottom lip hard and collapsed against the front of Lexa, shaking as her orgasm hit her hard. 

 

Lexa wrapped one arm around her, holding Clarke still as her hips thrust against her fingers as she came. She started to slide her fingers out and Clarke grabbed her arm. 

 

“No...please...I want you to feel what you do to me.”

 

Lexa’s eyes widened as she felt Clarke flutter, then clench and unclench around her fingers. 

 

“You’re not doing that?”

 

“No...still coming. Fuck Lexa...”

 

Lexa lazily kissed her neck, amazed at what Clarke’s body was doing around her fingers. 

 

“How long does that last?”

 

“Usually a few minutes, sometimes five....you’re so fucking amazing...so good...”

 

“You’re not so bad yourself Clarke.”

 

She whispered before kissing her; it was a long, slow kiss and Clarke melted against the front of Lexa, still occasionally fluttering around her fingers. Clarke whined in to the kiss as Lexa slowly slid her fingers out. 

 

Lexa smiled and wrapped her other arm around Clarke, slowly running her hand up and down her back. Clarke sighed and let her head rest against Lexa’s shoulder. 

 

“I think that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” Clarke said quietly after a few minutes. 

 

“I don’t know about that; the limo ride earlier was pretty wild.”

 

“Yea, but no one could see us. Here...all these people...”

 

“And none of them have any idea I just fucked you.”

 

“Well...maybe a few...”

 

Lexa laughed, then suddenly tensed, her gaze focused on someone across the pool. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Get off. Now.”

 

The harshness in Lexa’s voice made Clarke move without questioning her. 

 

“Sit here, next to me. Don’t say anything unless I let you know it’s okay.”

 

“Okay...Lexa wha-“

 

“Clarke. I need you to stop speaking right now.”

 

Clarke nodded and sat down in the water next to Lexa. Lexa briefly squeezed her knee as a tall man dressed in all black walked up to the side of the pool and looked down at Lexa. 

 

“Heda?” 

 

“If you are asking, you know who I am.”

 

Lexa’s voice was cold and harsh, Clarke almost flinched but held it in. 

 

“Yes ma’am, but I was instructed to confirm it was you before delivering my gift and saying what I was sent to say.”

 

“Very well, go on.”

 

“My employer wishes to further apologize for the transgression of my colleague earlier. He hopes this gift will show the depth of his sincerity towards both you and your girlfriend. He also asks that the two of you join him for breakfast in his suite tomorrow morning at 8am.”

 

The man held out a small box wrapped in plain black paper. Lexa nodded her head, indicating that it be left on the ground by their drinks. The man stooped and carefully placed it there before standing back up. 

 

“Please send my thanks to your employer and let him know we accept his invitation to breakfast and will see him in the morning.”

 

“Do you wish to open the gift? I know he would like me to report wether or not you were satisfied with it.”

 

“I am familiar with your employers gifts; I don’t believe it is something that should be opened in such a public setting.”

 

“Very well. I’ll let him know you accepted it and will see him tomorrow.”

 

Lexa nodded and the man turned and walked away. Lexa waited until she could no longer see him before turning to Clarke. 

 

“I’m sorry I was harsh with you, but I knew who he was when he walked up and he doesn’t always come in peace.”

 

“It’s okay, I understand. Who is he?”

 

“Second in the chain of command of the Vegas ring.”

 

“Kinda like you?”

 

“No, much lower than me on the totem pole so to speak. He’s second of just this ring; I’m second over the whole country. If something were to happen to Mortem, I would most likely take charge.”

 

“But you’ve never even met Mortem?”

 

“Not many have. He conducts most of his business on the phone, or through other people, like me.”

 

“What is that gift?”

 

“You probably don’t want to know.”

 

“Lexa...if I’m going to be part of this I need to know.”

 

“Back in the room then. I’m not opening it here.”

 

“But you’ll show me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, thank you.”

 

“You may not thank me later.”

 

“Yes I will. I’m in this thing one hundred percent, and I want to prove that to you.”

 

Lexa nodded and pulled Clarke against her side, one arm wrapped around her waist.

 

“I wish you weren’t.”

 

“Why? Have I done something wrong?”

 

“No, not at all, you’re doing really well. I just... My world is not a nice one to be part of. I just wish you didn’t have to see it. I wish we could get to know each other away from all of this.”

 

“Without this we would have never met.”

 

“Maybe not. Doesn’t change what I think though.”

 

“Hmm, well I’m glad we met, regardless of the circumstance.”

 

“That’s not what I meant. I am too, of course, but... I care about you. And I know how dangerous this is.” 

 

Clarke placed a soft kiss against Lexa’s neck. 

 

“You want to go back to the room?”

 

“Sure, if you’re ready to go?”

 

“I’m ready to have you to myself.”

 

“Sounds good to me.”

 

They picked up their drinks, got out of the jacuzzi, wrapped their towels around themselves and headed to the room.

* * *

 

 A few hours later Clarke fell back against the pillows on the bed as she screamed Lexa’s name, her hips bucking against Lexa’s face as she came hard. Lexa smiled as she softly kissed Clarke’s inner thigh as she came down. 

 

“God damn...so fucking good...” Clarke panted when she was finally able to speak again. 

 

“More?”

 

Lexa asked, a hint of teasing in her voice as her fingers ran softly across Clarke’s stomach. The blonde was covered in sweat, her hair stuck to the sides of her face, her breathing erratic; she was gorgeous.

 

“Do you ever get tired?” 

 

“Of watching you do that while you scream my name? No, never.”

 

“You’ve screamed mind quite a few times too ya know.”

 

“It’s not a competition Clarke.”

 

“I know, I just... you make me feel so amazing...”

 

Lexa crawled up next to Clarke and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close. 

 

“You make me feel amazing too, don’t think that you don’t. I just love watching you.”

 

“That has the potential to sound super creepy ya know?”

 

“Maybe, but it is what it is.”

 

“Is there more to this... more to us than sex though? I mean don’t get me wrong, the sex is... mind blowing and fantastic... but...”

 

“Do we get along if we aren’t fucking each other senseless?”

 

“Yea...”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I think I don’t understand why I want you so bad. I’ve had so many orgasms today I’ve completely lost count but I still want more. It’s never been like this with anyone else. I’ve never even been drawn to anyone else.”

 

“And when we’re not having sex? How do I make you feel then?”

 

“Wanted. Comfortable. Safe. I just... want more of you. To know you better.”

 

“Well, it sounds like we’re off to a pretty good start. If you want less sex, that’s fine Clarke, I’m sorry if I pushe-“

 

“No. You haven’t. And I do want it, it just makes me wonder is all.”

 

“Then we’ll spend more time having less sex.”

 

Clarke hummed against Lexa’s neck, her breathing finally evening out. Her whole body felt relaxed and tired; they’d been in bed from the second they’d walked through the door of the hotel room and hadn’t been able to stop touching each other. It had been hours and Clarke knew it wouldn’t take much for Lexa to make her come again. It was insane. 

 

“Everything feels like jello.” Clarke muttered. 

 

“Good, you needed to relax.” Lexa ran her fingers over Clarke’s upper arm. 

 

“You do too.”

 

“Oh, I am.”

 

Lexa sighed; content for the first time in as long as she could remember. She already didn’t want Clarke to go back home. She knew it was ridiculous; she barely even knew the other woman, but she also didn’t care. Things were more easy and comfortable than they’d ever been with anyone else.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Clarke asked quietly.

 

“You.”

 

“What about me?”

 

Lexa hesitated; she didn’t want to lie to Clarke, but she also didn’t want to make her feel guiltier than she already knew she did.

 

“That I already don’t want you to go home.”

 

“Well, don’t think about that now, we have a few more days.”

 

“I know, I just…enjoy your company. I can’t say that about many people.”

 

“Was it like that before the assignment as well? Or do you just have to keep people away because of the whole Heda thing?”

 

“No, it has always been like that. I don’t let people in. I’ve always been that way for the most part.”

 

“Even before prom?”

 

Lexa smiled at how intuitive Clarke was.

 

“Yes, even before then; though that certainly didn’t make me want to open up.”

 

“I can understand that.”

 

“And you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“Are you close to a lot of people?”

 

Clarke thought about the question for a minute. She had friends that she felt like she was close to, and she had Bellamy obviously, but when it was phrased as a question the way Lexa put it, she realized she didn’t have anyone that she could be entirely herself with.

 

“In a sense, yes. I have friends and people I hang out with. I have Bellamy obviously, but…I don’t have anyone I’m completely open with. I’m always playing a certain part I guess. Not that I’m lying to them, or they don’t know me, because they do. If I think about it though, I guess there is a part of me I’m always holding back.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know…”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“Can I ask something about work?”

 

“You can ask whatever you’d like Clarke.”

 

“Breakfast tomorrow. Why are we going?”

 

“Because it’s been requested and it would be bad form not to. I would basically be saying that I don’t accept the apology; which I do.”

 

“Speaking of the apology, what is that gift?”

 

Lexa huffed; she had hoped Clarke would forget about the gift, though in the back of her mind she it wasn’t likely.

 

“You really don’t need to see it.” Lexa said softly, her fingers running through Clarke’s hair.

 

“You aren’t protecting me by not letting me. I need to know. Besides, I’m homicide detective. I’ve been some pretty ugly things.”

 

“I know you have, but this is different. I just…I’m not going to stop you, or keep it from you, but don’t be surprised when it affects you more than you think it will.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Lexa slipped out of bed and pulled a tshirt and shorts on; Clarke did the same and Lexa found the small box that they’d brought up from the pool. She opened it and confirmed what she thought was inside.

 

“Are you sure?” She asked Clarke.

 

“Yes.”

 

Lexa reluctantly handed the box to Clarke who opened the lid and nearly threw it across the room; inside was a severed pinky finger. She shoved it back at Lexa who took it and set it on the table.

“What the hell kind of gift is that?”

 

“It’s from the man who touched you, to teach him a lesson.”

 

“But he didn’t even… he barely…. Lexa I didn’t want that…”

 

She stopped mid-sentence as a wave of nausea hit her hard. She’d seen way worse things in her career but the knowledge that a man lost a finger directly due to an interaction with her hit her way harder than she expected. She took a deep breath and thought she was going to be okay, but it hit her again and she ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before she started vomiting.

 

“Shhh…breathe…you’re okay…”

 

Lexa spoke softly from behind her as she pulled her hair back from her face. Clarke hit her knees and Lexa moved with her, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

 

“Clarke... take a breath. You’re alright.”

 

Clarke sucked in a few breaths between dry heaving. She closed her eyes and her head spun, which only made her want to throw up again.

 

“Are you done?”

 

“I think so…I can’t…I need out of here…”

 

“I know.”

 

Lexa scooped Clarke up in her arms and carried her to the bed. She set her down and quickly returned with a glass of water from the bathroom. Clarke was already sitting up on the edge of the bed.

 

“Don’t try to stand up yet. Here, just sip this.”

 

“Thank you.” Clarke took the water, her hands shaking. She took a few sips and set it on the table next to the bed.

 

“I’m sorry, that was ridiculous. I’ve seen horrible crime scenes, that shouldn’t have hit me like that.”

 

“It’s different, those crime scenes weren’t directly related to you.”

 

“Lexa… I never would have wanted them to do that to anyone, my god.”

 

“I know. It’s not your decision to make.”

 

“Why are they so harsh?”

 

“So they are taken seriously and respected without question. Obedience without hesitation.”

 

Clarke shuddered.

 

“What will happen at breakfast tomorrow?”

 

“They will apologize again. You will probably be given a gift.”

 

“I don’t want any more gifts.”

 

“No, an actual gift, not a body part. They don’t want to lose their relationship with me, so tomorrow morning will be all for show. It should be fairly pleasant actually. They will ask me, and possibly you, if the punishment was acceptable.”

 

“Yes! God the poor guy.”

 

“I will say yes of course, but if you are asked, you can’t let on that it bothered you at all. Just say it was sufficient punishment, or something along those lines. Don’t say anything about it not being necessary.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

 

“You tried to warn me, I really didn’t think it would hit me that hard.”

 

“I know, I didn’t either until it did. My first one was an entire hand from someone who had tried to keep some of the drugs he was supposed to be delivering to me. Had Anya not been standing next to me to catch me, I think I would have passed out.”

 

“Do you get those kind of…gifts…often?”

 

“No, not really, not anymore. Everything is flowing pretty smoothly at the moment. For a while there was a lot of mistrust amongst the different rings and leaders. I’ve worked hard for the past few years to get everyone to trust each other as much as they can.”

 

“Well that’s…good I guess.”

 

“It is. There has been a lot less violence. There is a code, so to speak, of how to treat each other. When its upheld, there are way less fights. That’s why this was such a big deal. They don’t want me to not trust them.”

 

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.”

 

“You don’t need to be, nothing is going to happen.”

 

Lexa ran her hand across Clarkes shoulders and pulled her close. Clarke went willingly, leaning against her side and sighing. The finger had hit her way harder than she thought it should have. She’d had no idea what was going to be in that box; she was glad Lexa hadn’t kept it from her, but it made the assignment they were on that much more real.

 

“I’m not going to let you get hurt Clarke.”

 

“You don’t need to protect me Lexa. I’m a cop, remember? I actually know how to use a gun and defend myself; quite well actually.”

 

“I know, I didn’t mean to offend you, but in this world, I’m probably more protection than either of those skills.”

 

“I’m sure you are, and you didn’t offend me, I just don’t want you to see me as some sort of hindrance, or someone you need to take care of.”

 

“I don’t see you as either of those things, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to be any less protective. It’s just who I am.”

 

Clarke nodded against her shoulder and yawned.

 

“Can we go to bed? Suddenly I’m exhausted.”

 

“It’s late, and it’s been a long day.”

 

“Hmm, and someone spent the past two hours making me come until I couldn’t think straight.”

 

“Good, that was the goal.”

 

“Mission accomplished then.”

 

Clarke laughed as she crawled in to the bed. Lexa hesitated, unsure if she should go in the other room or sleep with Clarke.

 

“Why aren’t you in bed?” Clarke mumbled as she pulled the sheet up over her.

 

“Do you want me to sleep with you?”

 

“Of course…I mean…unless you don’t want to.”

 

Lexa smiled as she crawled in bed behind Clarke.

 

“You’re too far away.” Clarke whined and lifted the sheet away from her as Lexa moved closer. She wrapped her arm around Clarke’s waist and pulled her against the front of her.

 

“Better?” She whispered, kissing the back of her shoulder through her shirt.

 

“Much. Thank you.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Lexa smiled, her face half buried in Clarke’s hair as she put her head down on the pillow. Clarke shifted impossibly closer to her before she drifted off to sleep. Lexa waited for her breathing to even out and deepen, so she knew she was deep asleep before closing her eyes and letting herself drift off to sleep as well. Her last thought before she drifted off was how dangerously easy it would be for her to fall in love with the blonde who was so comfortably cradled in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Clarke woke up to feather soft kisses on her neck and Lexa’s fingers making random patterns across the skin on her stomach. 

 

Clarke whined softly and rolled on her side, curling herself against the front of Lexa, her face buried in her neck. 

 

“Good Morning beautiful.” 

 

Lexa smiled as she ran her fingers through Clarke’s hair. She’d under estimated just how much she would like waking up next to the other woman. 

 

Clarke grumbled something and pressed closer, one of her legs weaving between Lexa’s. 

 

“Not a morning person?” Lexa asked, laughing softly. 

 

“Nonotreally.”

 

“Hm, I couldn’t tell. I’d let you go back to sleep but we have a breakfast to go to.” 

 

“Five more minutes?”

 

“No, because with you all cuddly like this I will fall back to sleep too.”

 

“So?”

 

“So, we’ll be late and we really shouldn’t be late.”

 

Clarke huffed, then sighed and finally opened her eyes. Lexa leaned back so she could look at her. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

“Hi. I don’t like mornings much, but a girl could get used to being woken up like that.” 

 

Lexa smirked and kissed Clarke’s forehead. 

 

“Yea well, a girl could get used to waking up to you too.”

 

Clarke smiled and kissed Lexa, one hand coming up to cup her cheek, the other sliding down her side to rest on her hip. The kiss was soft and sweet and Clarke let herself get lost in it until Lexa pulled back slowly. 

 

“We should get up.” Lexa whispered as she placed a chaste peck on Clarke’s lips. Clarke sighed and was about to kiss Lexa again when her phone buzzed on the nightstand. 

 

“Shit! I forgot to call Bellamy last night. He’s going to be pissed.”

 

She saw a flash of some emotion she couldn’t read in Lexa’s eyes as she rolled over to grab her phone. 

 

Lexa let her head fall back to the pillow; for a few minutes she’d actually forgotten that Clarke was married and that this all could potentially come crashing down around her. She knew she was letting herself feel too much for the blonde way to fast and it was probably only going to get her hurt. 

 

She watched as Clarke sat up on the edge of the bed and dialed her husband’s number. 

 

Bellamy picked up on the first ring. 

 

“Clarke what the hell?”

 

“I’m sorry. I was so exhausted I passed out early. I thought I’d wake up and call you but I slept all night.”

 

“I’ve been seriously stressing the fuck out Clarke.”

 

“I know, I’m so sorry. I meant to call you, I swear.”

 

“I almost called Kane this morning just to make sure you were okay.”

 

“Bellamy, you know they’d get ahold of you if something had gone wrong.”

 

“You should have called Clarke. How would you feel if I hadn’t called?”

 

“Horrible. And I know. I said I’m sorry. I can’t do anything else.”

 

Clarke felt the bed shift as Lexa moved, then felt her arms wrap around her waist as she scooted up behind her. Clarke leaned in to her. 

 

“I hardly slept at all last night Clarke.”

 

Clarke sighed heavily. She knew where Bellamy was coming from, but she couldn’t change anything. 

 

“What do you want me to do Bellamy? I said I’m sorry. I can’t take it back. What do you want?”

 

“You’re mad at me now?”

 

“No, I just... I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry. I’ll set an alarm from now on. It won’t happen again.”

 

Lexa ran her fingers back and forth over Clarke’s arm and smiled when she felt the blonde relax a little bit. 

 

“Good. It shouldn’t have happened at all.”

 

“I know. But things happen sometimes that shouldn’t. I’ll be better, ok?”  

 

Clarke’s voice cracked with tears at the double meaning behind her words and the fact that she was talking to her husband while wrapped in the arms of the woman she was cheating on him with. 

 

“Okay. Don’t cry Clarke, I’m sorry. I just... I worry about you. I miss you.”

 

“I know Bellamy. I miss you too. But I have to get going Okay? I’ll call you tonight, I promise.”

 

“Already? Alright. I love you Clarke.”

 

“I love you too Bellamy.” 

 

Clarke hung up the phone and ran one hand over her face as she tried not to cry; it didn’t work and tears ran silent down her face. Lexa sighed sadly as Clarke’s shoulders shook. She started to let go; she was part of the reason Clarke was crying, to comfort her felt wrong. Clarke squeezed her arm. 

 

“Please don’t leave.”

 

“I’m sorry, Clarke.”

 

“This isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault but my own.”

 

“It’s not your fault either.”

 

“How do you figure? I’m the one who decided to cheat on my husband.”

 

“Sometimes you can’t help who you... who you’re attracted to

 

“Who I’m attracted to, no. But what I can help is choosing to sleep with her.”

 

“Is that all this is?”

 

Clarke swallowed hard. She knew her draw to Lexa was more than just sexual attraction. She didn’t know how much more it would end up being, or if it would last, but she knew it wasn’t just for the sex.”

 

“No.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but Lexa still heard it. 

 

“Look. Let’s go back to where we were this morning when both of us had forgotten the really inconvenient fact that you are married, okay?”

 

Clarke smiled; waking up in Lexa’s arms had been the most content she’d felt in... ever. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy with Bellamy, because she was. It was just something more. Something she hadn’t realized she’d been missing.

 

“I think the hardest part is that I really do love him. If I didn’t, I would have left him already regardless of finding someone else or not. I just...”

 

“I know. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out, one way or the other. Let’s get ready for breakfast.”

 

Clarke turned in Lexa’s arms. 

 

“Am I worth this to you? The not knowing?”

 

Lexa’s smile was soft and sad as she brushed a piece of hair away from Clarke’s face. She knew the blonde was either going to make her the happiest she’d ever been, or rip her heart to shreds. It was worth the risk. 

 

“Yea, you are.”

 

Clarke kissed her briefly before standing up and heading to the bathroom of the other hotel room to get dressed. 

________________________

 

“I’m not going to lie, I’m really nervous.”

 

Clarke said as she waited for Lexa while sitting on the edge of the bed. Lexa walked out of the bathroom and Clarke stood up. Lexa walked over and took both of her hands. 

 

“You have nothing to be afraid of. This morning should go smooth.  Plus, you’re a cop, you’ve done scarier things than this.”

 

“Should.  And I am a cop, but this is different. I’m supposed to go in there and act like I’m part of all this. You’ve been doing it for a while.”

 

“Well, it is what it is. They are drug dealers. There is always a chance of shit going wrong. But it shouldn’t. Don’t worry about it, you’re going to do fine.”

 

“I know, I trust you, I’m just nervous.”

 

“You’ve done amazing so far. Just keep it up and you’ll be just fine. Once we go out in the hallway though, I can’t be like this anymore.”

 

“I know, you have to be Heda.”

 

“I do.”

 

Lexa whispered and pulled Clarke close, wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her forehead.”

 

“Are you going to be okay?”

 

“I am. Can we hold hands?”

 

“Of course. I just can’t be... soft, or overly comforting.”

 

Clarke nodded and stepped back out of Lexa’s embrace but Lexa kept ahold of her hands and squeezed them lightly. 

 

“You ready?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“I can’t coach you a whole lot on this one because it’s more of a social thing. Just seem nonchalant about the finger thing, and self-confident about anything else.”

 

“Got it.”

 

“It will be over before you know it and we can go do some fun stuff.”

 

“Sounds great. Let’s go.”

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

It was exactly 8am when Lexa knocked twice on the door to the hotel suite. She squeezed Clarke’s hand gently as the door swung open. The same man from the jacuzzi the night before welcomed them, making a sweeping gesture with his arm indicating that they should come in.

 

“Good Morning ladies, it’s a pleasure to have you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“My employer will be out shortly, but please have a seat at the table. Can I get you anything to drink?”

 

“Water is fine, thank you.” Lexa answered.

 

“For me as well please.”

 

He nodded and left the room, returning shortly with two glasses of water. He left again and about five minutes later came back with two other men. One of them Clarke recognized as the one who had grabbed her. She held in a flinch at the sight of his bandaged hand.

 

The other she’d never seen; he was tall with dark tan skin, hazel eyes and dark hair. His smile seemed genuine as he greeting Lexa. Lexa stood to greet them and Clarke followed her lead, standing up as well.

 

“Ah Heda, gorgeous as always. I always found it such a pity that you are only interested in women.”

 

“Hm, you and many other men I’ve met. Nice to see you again Jaxson, it’s been a while.”

 

“Indeed, it has. I’m sorry this had to be under such circumstances.”

 

Lexa tilted her head and raised one eyebrow; Jaxon turned his attention to Clarke.

 

“Heda always has had a taste for… the finer things in life. I’m Jaxon, nice to meet you.”

 

“I’m Clarke, nice to meet you as well.”

 

“I deeply apologize for my employee’s behavior; I assure you it will not happen again.”

 

“Thank you, I appreciate the apology.”

 

“We do not tolerate that type of behavior in my organization. Did you receive my gift?”

 

“I did.”

 

“And? Do you feel the punishment was adequate?”

 

“I do, thank you. I’m sure he will be able to control his…desires during future encounters.”

 

Clarke lifted her chin and leveled her gaze at the man who had touched her. He nodded vigorously.

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

Jaxon waved his hand over his shoulder at the man.

 

“You may go. You were only here should they decide you needed to be punished further. Unless…Heda? Do you agree with his punishment?”

 

“I think Clarke should be the one to decide, it was her he touched. She has made her choice clear.”

 

Jaxson nodded and the other man quickly left the room.

 

“Well, now that the unpleasant part is over, shall we eat?”

 

He smiled as he sat down at the table opposite Lexa. Clarke sat down next to her and held back a smile when Lexa squeezed her knee under the table.

 

“How are you enjoying Vegas?” Jaxon asked, the question directed at Lexa.

 

“It’s been good, aside from the one transgression.” Lexa smirked.

 

“And you Clarke?”

 

“It’s great. I’m having a good time.”

 

“Nice to be away from home?”

 

“Hm, among other things.”

 

“Heda, how did you two meet?”

 

“At a club. She was standing at the bar and I sent someone over to get her. We met a few times there after that night.”

 

“She must have left quite and impression on you.”

 

“She did.”

 

“I can certainly see why.”

 

Clarke blushed slightly and glanced down at the table.

 

“I’m sorry, did I embarrass you?” Jaxson asked, his voice sincere.

 

“No, it’s fine.”

 

“You are beautiful, but there has to be more to you than that to keep Heda around. Beautiful women throw themselves at her all the time.”

 

“Yes, I’ve noticed.”

 

“I see you’re married?” Jaxson asked, nodding towards Clarke’s wedding ring.

 

“I am.”

 

“And does your husband know?”

 

“He does not.”

 

“Interesting. You don’t have a problem with that?” Jaxon shifted his attention to Lexa.

 

“I do not. I know where her loyalties lie.”

 

“How can you be so sure?”

 

Lexa raised her eyebrows and her whole posture shifted subtly; her back straightened, she sat up slightly taller and her face shifted into an expressionless mask.

 

“Are you questioning my judgement?”

 

“No, simply wondering. She is very new to our world; I am not the only one who wonders.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“There are others who question why you would end up with someone so quickly, especially a married woman. A married cop…who’s husband is also a cop. It doesn’t sound like a very stable situation to me.”

 

“Then perhaps it is a good idea that you don’t call the shots.”

 

“I’m not trying to offend you Heda, I’m simply saying it’s been noticed and questioned.”

 

“Maybe you aren’t trying to offend, but threaten? I know perfectly well who I can trust and who I can’t. She is aware of what we do. She’s been helping us; Titus is very pleased with her.”

 

“And you think she isn’t going home and telling her husband everything?”

 

“Including the part where she is cheating on him by fucking a woman? No, I don’t think that comes up in conversation around the dining room table. I think we’re done here.”

 

Lexa moved to stand up and Jaxon put his hand on her arm. She glared down at it and he quickly pulled away.

 

“Please, stay. I honestly did not mean to upset you, I was simply voicing concerns.”

 

“Concerns which have no proof or validity.”

 

Jaxon nodded as plates of food were brought out to the table.

 

“Please, stay for breakfast. We’ve worked together a long time Heda.”

 

“We have, which is why I am concerned about your attitude. Do you no longer trust me? I can always find another partner in the area.”

 

“Of course I trust you.”

 

“Good.”

 

“It is her I do not trust.”

 

Lexa narrowed her eyes at Jaxson but Clarke spoke before Lexa could.

 

“What can I do to show you where my loyalties lie?”

 

“Clarke. You don’t have to prove anything to him. I do not question your loyalties.”

 

Lexa’s voice was harsh, her gaze still fixed on Jaxson.

 

“I know, but I might as well put his mind at ease, if his request is not too outlandish.”

 

Lexa turned and raised one eyebrow at Clarke before turning her attention back to Jaxon.

 

“Well? You heard her. What is it that you want?”

 

“For her to get her hands dirty. There is a deal tonight, let her be the lead.”

 

“What will that prove?”

 

“That she’s not just a cop here undercover to bust us all.”

 

“Fine, but I’m going with her.”

 

“That’s fine, but it needs to be her that completes the transaction.”

 

“You do know Mortem will hear about this? And it will be up to him to decide if we continue to do business with someone who is so obviously untrusting. Out of a show of respect for our relationship up until now, I will agree to your request, but I am not happy with it. It speaks volumes about how much you trust me and it will be looked at.”

 

Clarke noticed a look of uncertainty flash across Jaxon’s face as Lexa spoke.

 

“I understand. I hope you understand my side as well.”  


“I do not. I spared one of your men from a bullet in his brain and this is how you repay me? I am surprised Jaxon. Get the details to me and we will make sure we are there.”

 

Lexa stood up and indicated for Clarke to do the same.

 

“Thank you for the meal as well, however, we will not be staying.”

 

“Heda, please stay.”

 

“No thank you, I do not wish to spend my time with someone who does not trust me or my choices. We will see you this evening.”

 

Lexa reached for Clarke’s hand and led her to the door. Clarke’s heart was racing but her face was devoid of emotions as they left the hotel suite and headed to the elevator. Lexa as quiet the whole way back to their room; Clarke would have thought she was mad at her except for the fact that Lexa kept running her thumb gently over the back of her hand.

 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped.” Clarke said as soon as they were back in their room.

 

“No, you were beyond perfect Clarke.”

 

“I was…”

 

” Yes. I’m not thrilled with what they’re asking of you, but it will work out. This ring doesn’t trust me anymore and we need to find out why, or who is behind the mistrust.”

 

“I wasn’t sure I should step in, but it seemed like your conversation was going in circles.”

 

“It was, you were awesome.”

 

Lexa tugged on the front of Clarke’s shirt until there was only a few inches between them and kissed her. It was a soft, slow kiss and Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck as she leaned in to it. 

 

“So, what do you want to do?” Lexa asked when she finally pulled back from their kiss.

 

“I don’t know, why don’t you just take me to some of your favorite places?”

 

“Hm, my favorite place to take you would be that bed right over there.”

 

“I don’t know about that, your screams in the limo might say otherwise.”

 

Lexa chuckled and kissed Clarke again, her hands gripping her hips and pulling her closer as she did. Clark kissed her back for a minute, then put her hand in the middle of her chest.

 

“Lexa, we are not spending all day in that bed, no matter how gorgeous it is.”

 

“I’m fine with the floor, or the sofa, or the jacuzzi.”

 

“You’re terrible. Drop dead gorgeous, but terrible.”

 

“I know, I know. Alright. First stop is going to be M&M world. But we will continue this later tonight.”

 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

 

“Oh, I always keep my promises. Especially to pretty girls.”

 

Clarke laughed as she changed out of her shirt and into a tank top. It was sky blue and clung to her, showing off her curves well.

 

“God its going to be hard to keep my hands off you today.”

 

“So don’t?” Clarke smirked as she headed for the door of the hotel room.

 

“Let’s go?”

 

Lexa nodded and followed Clarke out of the door. They walked to the elevator and Lexa reached over and took Clarke’s hand; they only had a few days to themselves and she intended to use them to her advantage before she had to give Clarke back to reality.

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

 

As they walked down the strip Clarke smiled at the fact that Lexa hadn’t let go of her hand since they’d gotten in the elevator at their hotel. She tried to remember the last time holding Bellamy’s hand had made her feel like a giddy school girl, but then quickly pushed that thought aside. 

 

“You were thinking about him, weren’t you?” Lexa asked quietly. 

 

“Yea...for a second...I’m sorry....”

 

“Don’t be sorry. I can just tell from the look on your face. It’s not a decision you have to make now Clarke.”

 

“I know that. I just... don’t want to hurt anyone more than I need to.” 

 

“Someone is going to end up hurt...”

 

“I know. Believe me I know. And I hate myself over it already.”

 

Lexa stopped walking and pulled Clarke off to the side of the sidewalk next to the building. She put her hands on her hips and pulled her close. 

 

“Do you want to stop this Clarke?” 

 

The intensity in Lexa’s eyes made Clarke’s stomach drop. 

 

“No.”

 

Her answer was a low whisper and she leaned forward and kissed Lexa, her hands coming up to tangle in the hair at the base of her neck. Lexa sighed into the kiss and pulled Clarke closer, wrapping her arms around her waist. 

 

As they kissed Clarke found herself wondering for what had to be the hundredth time how something that felt so incredibly right could be so horribly wrong. 

 

“Do you?” She asked Lexa as she pulled back from the kiss. 

 

“No... not at all. But I don’t want you destroying yourself over it either.”

 

Lexa tucked a piece of hair behind Clarke’s ear, letting her hand brush across her cheek as she did. 

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

Lexa raised one eyebrow at her and Clarke laughed softly. 

 

“Maybe not fine, but... it doesn’t change my answer.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, then let’s try to forget about it for a while?”

 

“Take me to M&M world and buy me chocolate?”

 

“Sounds like a good plan.”

 

Clarke smiled and placed a quick kiss on Lexa’s lips before they started walking down the strip again.

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

“So, this place was pretty damn cool. I mean, anything you could ever want M&M they have it.”

 

Clarke laughed as they walked around the last floor of M&M world.

 

“Yes they do, including any color M&M you can imagine.” Lexa smiled, gesturing to the back wall where there were giant dispenser tubes of all kinds of color M&Ms covering the entire wall.

 

“Oh that’s awesome!”

 

Clarke headed over to the wall and grabbed a bag; she proceeded to put a little bit of every color in it. When she was about half way through, Lexa laughed.

 

“Clarke…you do realize there is a tube of rainbow that already has all of the colors?”

 

“Where is the fun in that though?”

 

Lexa softly shook her head and smiled as she watched Clarke finish getting all of the colors.

 

“You done?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

Clarke shook the bag, mixing all of the colors together.

 

“Now I’m done.”

 

She answered with a grin. Lexa laughed loud enough that a few people in the store turned around.

 

“You’re cute.” Lexa smirked.

 

“I am?”

 

“Yes, when you are making bags full of colorful M&Ms you’re cute; when you’re a writhing, moaning mess underneath me in bed… that’s a different story.”

 

Clarke ducked her head as she blushed bright red; Lexa reached out and used the front of her tank top to pull her close.

 

 “Too much?”

 

“No, I just… don’t know how to even respond to that.”

 

“Not everything requires a response.”

 

“I guess not.”

 

“Come on, lets pay for your bag of rainbow and head somewhere else.”

 

Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke’s waist and they went and paid for the M&Ms. Clarke grabbed a handful out of the bag and popped a few in her mouth as they headed back out to the stip.

 

“Where to next?”

 

“There is an aquarium area at Mandalay bay that has a shark tunnel. It’s nothing super impressive, but its fun. And we can see the Luxor too, they are connected.”

 

“Sounds great, lets head that way.”

 

Lexa kept her arm around Clarke’s waist as they walked, hooking one finger through her belt loop to make it easier.  As they walked they chatted about random things; their favorite foods, movies, and books. They found out they both loved horror movies and pizza.

 

“Okay so you realize this means we have to find a horror movie to watch and order pizza to the room, right?”

 

Clarke declared as they walked in to the Luxor.

 

“Sure, if you want to.”

 

“Well yea.”

 

“Most girls in Vegas would want to go out to shows and clubs.”

 

“What can I say, I’m not most girls.”

 

“Clearly.”

 

“I mean…if you’d rather do that other stuff we can, it’s not that I won’t. We can do whatever you want, I just thought tha-“

 

“Clarke. It’s not a bad thing that you’re not like most girls. That’s not what I meant.”

 

“I just... I’m fine with whatever you want to do.”

 

“I want to be with you.”

 

“Okay, that was smooth.”

 

“Hm, was it?”

 

“It was, and you know it.”

 

“How smooth was it?”

 

Lexa smirked and squeezed Clarke’s hip.

 

“Are you looking for an excuse for me to stop and kiss you?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Well if it’s just maybe, then we can just keep walking.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Lexa laughed quietly at the way Clarke wrinkled her forehead. They kept walking for a while in silence.

 

“Are you pouting?”

 

Lexa asked, bumping her hip against Clarke’s.

 

“Maybe…”

 

“Would this help?”

 

Lexa abruptly turned down an aisle of slot machines and spun Clarke so they were facing each other. She put her hands on Clarke’s hips and Clarke took a step back and bumped into one of the machines. Lexa smiled.

 

“Trapped?”

 

She said coyly as she put one hand on each side of Clarke against the machine.

 

“Apparently.”

 

“What are you going to do about it?”

 

“Nothing, I kinda like it.”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Well… what’s not to like? I’m trapped by an insanely gorgeous woman who most likely wants to kiss me… who also happens to be an amazing kisser. I’m not sure how I lose in this situation.”

 

A slight blush crept on to Lexa’s cheeks as she smiled; Clarke noticed.

 

“Wow, did I just make you blush?”

 

“No…”

 

“Yes, I did. I can see it on your face.”

 

“Shhhhh…nothing happened.”

 

Lexa teased as she leaned forward and kissed Clarke. Clarke smiled and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, deepening their kiss. Lexa moaned softly and slid her hands down Clarke’s back, over her ass to her upper thighs. Clarke squeaked as Lexa lifted her, sitting her on the edge of the machine.

 

“Lexa…jesus…security is going to kick us out.”

 

“Hmm, don’t care.”

 

Clarke laughed and hooked her feet behind Lexa’s legs, pulling her closer and kissing her again briefly before pulling back.

 

“Come on, let’s keep going to the aquarium.”

 

“This is more fun though.”

 

“We can continue this tonight.”

 

“Or…in that bathroom right over there.”

 

“Lexa…”

 

“Hm?”

 

“No.”

 

“It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

 

Lexa smirked, her hands running along Clarke’s waistband, her thumbs slipping underneath it. Clarke laughed and grabbed her wrists.

 

“No. I have faith that we can make it through a day without sex.”

 

“You’re no fun.”

 

“I am, but we can do this.”

 

“But why…watching you come is one of my favorite past times…”

 

Clarke groaned as Lexa slowly kissed up the side of her neck.

 

“Lexa… later… please?”

 

“You know I could have you begging for it in a few minutes.”

 

Lexa teased, her thumbs gliding across Clarke’s stomach.

 

“Hm, that works both ways.”

 

“Touché.”

 

“Come on, I’m having fun. The PG kind of fun. We can do the other stuff later.”

 

Lexa smirked and kissed her forehead before lifting her off the machine.

 

“I could have done that myself ya know, it’s not like it was high.”

 

“I know, my way was more fun. Come on, let’s go see some fish.”

 

Clarke smiled as Lexa pulled her back against her, her arm wrapping around her waist and settling there like it was an every day occurrence. They walked down to the Mandalay Bay and saw the aquarium, then got a cab and went to Circus Circus.

 

“I can see how a kid could spent a whole ton of money here. I mean look at all these giant stuffed animals to win.”

 

Clarke commented as they walked around the circus floor.

 

“Yea, it’s not really geared much for adults but it’s so iconic Vegas you had to see it.”

 

“It’s pretty cool. I mean, I guess some adults might not like it, but I’d way rather be up here than gambling. I mean look at those giant giraffes. And the hippos, and lions! So many choices.”

 

“I’ll win you one if you want.”

 

“No, that’s sweet but no.”

 

“Oh come on, you obviously want one.”

 

“Lexa… I do not need a giant stuffed animal.”

 

“No one needs one, you want one.”

 

“Lexa… no. It’s not necessary.”

 

“Clarke… come on…I want to.”

 

Clarke sighed; she didn’t want to bring up Bellamy but the reality was she couldn’t just show up with a giant stuffed animal after an undercover assignment and not have him ask questions.

 

“Lexa… I’d let you… but I can’t keep it. What am I going to do with it when we have to go home?”

 

There was a flash of sadness in Lexa’s eyes before she smiled and shook her head.

 

“You’re right. It would just be fun.”

 

“It would be. Maybe someday.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

Lexa’s answer was so quiet that Clarke almost didn’t hear her over the noise of the games. Their eyes met and they both realized it was the first time either of them had mentioned a future together; even if it wasn’t directly.

 

“So, I’ve had a lot of fun, but heading back to the hotel and just relaxing before tonight sounds really good. Is that ok?”

 

Clarke asked quietly, reaching for Lexa’s hands.

 

“Of course it’s okay.  It sounds perfect.”

 

“Good. Pizza and Netflix for a little bit?”

 

“Whatever you want.”

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

Clarke curled against Lexa’s side in the bed in their hotel room. They’d finished eating pizza and Lexa was scrolling through the movie options on Netflix. She smiled as Clarke pressed against her, her arm draping across Lexa’s stomach, her knee resting on her thigh. Lexa shifted and wrapped one arm around Clarke, pulling her closer.

 

“You okay?”

 

She asked as Clarke sighed.

“Yea, I’m fine.”

 

“What was that sigh for?”

 

“Content. This, you, feels… right.”

 

Lexa smiled and turned her head, pressing a soft kiss to Clarke’s temple before she kept scrolling.

 

“How about the first Saw movie?”

 

“Oh, I love that one. The ending is so good.”

 

“Do you want to try to find something we haven’t seen?”

 

“No, that one is fine.”

 

“Alright.”  


Lexa hit play and pulled the blankets up over her and Clarke. They were about a half an hour in to the movie when she felt Clarke fall asleep.  She laughed softly and reached for her phone, setting the alarm before setting it back on the nightstand. She shifted so she was laying on her side facing Clarke.

 

“Ugh, don’t go.”  


Clarke whined, tightening her grip on Lexa.

 

“I’m not. I’m just moving so you’re more comfortable.”

 

“No.”

 

“Clarke, just scoot a little.”

 

Clarke huffed and moved without opening her eyes. She shifted so they were laying down on their sides rather than leaning against the headboard, then moved closer against the front of Lexa.

 

"Sleepy. You’re comfy.”  


“Yes, go back to sleep.”

 

Clarke’s eyes fluttered halfway open.

 

“Closer?”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

Lexa laughed as Clarke burrowed herself closer, her body pressed flush against Lexa’s, her face nestled into her neck just under her chin. Their legs tangled together and Lexa wrapped one arm around Clarke’s waist, pulling her close.

 

“Hmm, thank you.”

 

Clarke mumbled before she fell asleep again. Lexa sighed as she let her head rest deeper into the pillow. The blonde already meant too much, but she didn’t want to stop any of it, even though she was pretty sure it was going to break her heart.

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

A few hours later they were up and getting ready for the deal Jaxson had planned. He had sent Lexa the details. Clarke was going back and forth between the bathroom and rummaging through her suitcase. Lexa knew a lot of it was nervous energy so she was trying to explain the process in the hopes of giving Clarke something to focus on; it wasn’t working very well.

 

 

“So since you’re the one actually making the deal, you’re going to be armed, not me. It’s an unregistered gun so if anything happens it can’t be traced.”

 

“Lexa...”

 

“I don’t anticipate a problem, I’m just telling you so you know. You ask them to open the case. The rows should be even to the top. If there is a space, something is missing. Once you do that, they will have you open the money one and they’ll do the same. It’s all there but they’ll check rows. That’s it. We’ll switch cases and leave. They’re going to want you to be the one to physically hand over the money and take the drugs. That’s the point.”

 

“Okay. I just...what if something goes wrong?”

 

“I can’t really prepare you for that...too many possible scenarios. Just go with your gut.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Lexa crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist from behind. 

 

“You don’t have to do this. I can get ahold of them and cancel or tell them it will be me.”

 

“No, you can’t do that. We need them to trust me for any of this to work. You know that.”

 

Lexa huffed; she knew Clarke was right. She also knew she couldn’t let her growing feelings for the other woman get in the way of the assignment that had brought them together in the first place. 

 

“I know, you’re right.”

 

Lexa brushed Clarke’s hair out of the way and kissed her neck. Clarke smiled and leaned in to her embrace, reaching back and cupping her cheek.

 

“It was a sweet offer though.”

 

“Hm, I’m not sweet.”

 

“Uh huh. Says the woman who is upset over bruises on my hips, and pouted because I wouldn’t let her win me a giant stuffed animal, and is one of the softest kissers I’ve ever met.”

 

“There is one common factor in all of those things though.”

 

“What?”

 

“You.”

 

Clarke swallowed hard and turned in Lexa’s arms so she could face her. 

 

“What’s so different about me?”

 

“Honestly? I don’t know. There just... something between us. And no, it’s not just the amazing sex.”

 

Clarke smiled sadly and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, resting her head on her shoulder. 

 

“Was that the wrong answer?” Lexa whispered, her hand moving to rest in the small of Clarke’s back. 

 

“No. Not at all.”

 

“We’ll figure it out Clarke, either way.” 

 

Clarke tightened her arms around Lexa’s neck. 

 

“I know.”

 

Lexa stood there, content to just hold Clarke in her arms for a few minutes. The Vegas trip was not turning out the way she’d planned, but she was still happy she got some time alone with the other woman where she could just be herself. 

 

“We should go.”

 

Clarke mumbled in to Lexa’s shoulder.

 

“We should.”

 

“You’re not moving.”

 

“Hm, no, I’m not.”

 

Clarke laughed and leaned back in Lexa’s arms.

 

“Come on, let’s get it over with. Then we can come back here and just relax.”

 

Lexa kissed her briefly before letting go.

 

“Alright, let’s ago. It shouldn’t take long.”

 

—_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

They pulled up in an empty parking lot off a deserted road a few miles outside of Las Vegas. Gustus was driving and Lexa was in the back with Clarke. She hadn’t let go of her hand the whole ride. 

 

Another SUV was also parked in the lot facing them. Most of the light was coming from the headlights of the two vehicles. 

 

“Are you sure about this?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure. If we back out now it’s going to look horrible. No one will ever trust me or believe this. I can do this Lexa.”

 

“I know you can, that’s not even a question. I just... god I don’t want you involved in this.”

 

“Too late.” Clarke winked and squeezed Lexa’s hand before letting go. 

 

“Ready?”

 

“Yea, let’s go.” 

 

Lexa got out of the car first and Clarke slid out behind her. Two men got out of the SUV; one of them Clarke recognized as Jaxson from breakfast, the other she didn’t know had a suitcase. 

 

Lexa opened the trunk and handed Clarke a suitcase and went to lean against the hood of their SUV. 

 

“Good evening ladies.” Jaxson called out, a smug smile spreading across his face

 

“Get on with it Jaxson. We have more important things to do.” Lexa snapped, her voice cold. 

 

“Well, aren’t we short this evening. Are you worried your girlfriend can’t handle this?”

 

Clarke could see the tension roll through Lexa’s body.

 

“Her girlfriend is standing right here and can speak for herself.” Clarke practically growled.

 

Jaxson held Lexa’s stare a second longer and turned his attention to Clarke. 

 

“You both seem tense.”

 

“We’re fine.”

 

“Very well, you know you both need to be searched.”

 

“I am aware. Make sure your associate keeps his hands where they belong.”

 

“I’ve already assured you that won’t happen again.”

 

Clarke stood while the other man patted her down, letting Jaxson know she only had one gun. The same process was repeated on Lexa and she was cleared. 

 

“Good to know you play by the rules.”

 

Clarke raised one eyebrow at him. 

 

“Let’s hope you play the same way.”

 

Lexa searched both men; Jaxon was armed, the other man was not. She returned to her place by the SUV and Clarke turned back to Jaxson.

 

“Shall we?” She asked, her voice emotionless despite her racing heart. 

 

“We shall.”

 

Jaxson picked up his suitcase and put it on the hood of his SUV. Lexa clenched her hands in to fists as Clarke walked over. She hated not having a gun. She knew Clarke was capable of defending herself but she still felt wrong. She heard the quiet click of Gustus unlocking the car doors and smiled; the older man knew her well and was ready to react at a moment’s notice. 

 

Clarke looked in the suitcase; everything appeared fine but when she lifted a few packages, the middle section was empty. Her eyes met Jaxson’s and he smiled. 

 

“Some of it is missing.” Clarke called to Lexa, her hand drifting towards her gun; something was wrong. Lexa was at the vehicle in seconds, stepping between Jaxson and Clarke. She looked in the suitcase to confirm what Clarke said. 

 

“What the fuck is this shit?” She demanded. Before she realized what was happening, Jaxson had his gun drawn and pressed against her forehead. She slowly raised her hands, her eyes never leaving his. 

 

“What is this Jaxson?”

 

“A test. You see, my colleague over there is a thief. He is the reason some of the stuff is missing.”

 

As Jaxson spoke, Clarke drew her gun and pointed it at the other man. 

 

“Oh, he won’t leave. He knows his fate. He has a wife and children that will suffer if he runs. Two daughters. So, you see, this is a test for Clarke. Mortem worries that you have trusted her too quickly. That perhaps she’s not really as dirty as you seem to think. That maybe she’s undercover. If that is the case, she won’t kill him to save you Heda. She knows you’re a drug dealer, guilty of many crimes and responsible for many deaths yourself. That man for all she knows is innocent.”

 

“What the hell is going on.” Clarke growled. Jaxson laughed, his eyes and gun still trained on Lexa. 

 

“Someone dies tonight Clarke. Either that man by your hand, or Heda by mine. Who it is will depend on who you are loyal to.”

 

“How does me shooting him prove anything?”

 

“Because, he is a thief and that is how they are punished in our world. He knows that. If you are who Heda says you are, if you’re really in this and she has reason to trust you, you won’t have a problem pulling that trigger. If you’re not who she thinks you are, well, you won’t be able to do it, or you’ll hesitate, like you are now, trying to stall like a cop would to figure out how to s-“

 

His speech was cut short by the sound of gunfire ripping through the air as Clarke pulled the trigger, shooting the man she was aiming at in the chest, then spinning and shooting Jaxson in the foot. 

 

He screamed, dropping to ground. Lexa was on him in an instant, pulling his gun away and pointing it at his head. 

 

“You better be telling the truth about this being instructions from Mortem, because if you aren’t, so help me god, I will find you and I will kill you. Slowly.”

 

“That bitch shot me in the foot!”

 

“That _bitch_ protects what’s hers. That’s how we work. I told you that. Clean up your own fucking mess Jaxson, and explain the lost sale to your boss.”

 

She tossed the gun away from him, back towards the car and turned towards her SUV. Gustus was standing by the driver side door, gun pointed at Jaxon as Lexa and Clarke took the suitcase of money and got back in the car. 

 

As soon as the doors were closed Lexa reached for Clarke. 

 

“I’m sorry, god I’m so sor-“

 

“Don’t. Don’t touch me.” 

 

Lexa recoiled from Clarke’s words as though she’d been physically hit. 

 

“Clarke...I didn’t know...I’m sor-“

 

“Stop.”

 

Clarke pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against the door. She closed her eyes and willed the waves of nausea to stop. It wasn’t the first time she’d shot and killed someone, but it was the first time she’d done it without the other person being armed. She’d just shot and killed an unarmed man who’d been doing nothing wrong; at least nothing that warranted being shot and killed.

 

“Clarke… please… “

 

Lexa gently ran one finger over the back of Clarke’s hand on the seat between them and sighed heavily when the blonde jerked away from the contact.

 

The ride back to the hotel was in tense silence. Clarke wouldn’t even look at Lexa as they headed to the room. She stood in the opposite corner of the elevator with her arms crossed and as soon as they were in the room she took her suitcase and drug it into the mostly unused second room that was meant to be hers all along. She closed the adjoining door and locked it behind her.

 

Lexa sighed deeply and sat down on the couch, her head cradled in her hands.

 

Clarke sank to the ground on other side of the door, loud sobs finally breaking free from where she’d been holding them in her chest since she’d pulled the trigger.

 

Lexa could hear her from the other room and it was all she could do to hold back her own tears. She heard the distinctive beeping text tone of the phone she solely had for communicating with Mortem; it was changed weekly.

 

**M:** she passed the test, I am impressed

 

**H:** You could have told me

 

**M:** Then it wouldn’t have been much of a test, do you have no faith?

 

**H:** Of course I do

 

**M:** I have sent you a file on the man she killed, you may let her know who he truly was. I assume she is not taking her first kill well. Even you did not.

 

**H:** She is not. Thank you.

 

**M:** I hope you understand why it had to be this way. This has been very unlike you, but I should not have doubted you.

 

**H:** I do. Thank you.

 

Lexa shoved the phone back in her bag, knowing that would be the end of the conversation. She started to pull her laptop out to see what had been sent when she heard the sound of vomiting coming from Clarke’s room.

 

She wet a washcloth and used her key to unlock their adjoining doors. She knew the blonde didn’t want to see her, but she also knew what she was going through and wasn’t going to let her do it alone.

 

“Clarke? I know you hate me but I’m coming in anyways.”

 

Clarke was hunched over the toilet in the bathroom; Lexa got on her knees next to her and pulled her hair back as she gently rubbed one hand across her back. Clarke reached back with one hand and smacked her.

 

“No.”   


Clarke managed to choke out between retching.

 

“I know. But I’m not letting you do this alone.”

 

“Out. Get the fuck out.”

 

“No.”

 

Clarke threw up a few more times, then started dry heaving.

 

“Breathe… Clarke…”

 

Clarke pushed herself away from the toilet, her back against the wall and kicked out at Lexa.

 

“Get away from me!”

 

One of her feet connected with Lexa’s side and knocked her off balance. She regained her balance and crouched in front of Clarke. The blonde’s blue eyes were bright red and puffy from crying, but also full of an anger she’d never seen before.

 

“I’m sorry… I never meant for this to happen to you…”

 

“Get. Out.”

 

“Clarke…”

 

The angry growl that ripped its way from Clarke’s mouth shocked Lexa almost as much as the blonde launching at her. She just barely had time to get to her feet before Clarke was on her, slapping and punching whatever part of Lexa she could connect with, sobbing as she did.

 

Lexa ducked a few hits and managed to get her arms wrapped around Clarke, pinning her arms to her sides.

 

“Shhh. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry but you have to calm down. You’re making yourself sick.”

 

“Shut up! Let go of me, Get out! I fucking hate you. I hate you…I hate…”

 

“I know. I don’t blame you but I can’t let you do this to yourself. I’ll leave when you calm down.”

 

“I hate you… let go of me.”

 

“Keep saying you hate me, at least you’re breathing.”

 

“I hate you… I just… I killed him…I just shot him for no reason… I… can’t… I’m a murderer…”  


Lexa could feel the anger leaving Clarke’s body and her breathing returning to somewhat normal so she let go. Clarke instantly shoved her a few steps back.

 

“Get out. I can’t stand you…this is your fault…I hate you…”

 

“Do you, really?”

 

Lexa asked softly and it caught Clarke off guard. She stopped for a second and Lexa took the opportunity to continue.

 

“Do you really hate me? Do you honestly think I would have let you go tonight and do that had I known? If I’d had any idea? Think about the past few days… do you really believe that the outcome tonight is what I wanted? If you can look me in the eyes and tell me yes then I will walk out of this room and you will never see me again. I will have you pulled from the assignment, no questions asked and I will disappear from your life like I never existed, but I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me that’s how you really feel.”

 

Clarke slowly raised her eyes to meet Lexa’s; she was so mad, hurt and disgusted with herself that she was fully prepared to say yes until their eyes met and then she knew she couldn’t walk away. Lexa’s eyes were full of nothing but sadness and understanding, and a hint of something else Clarke couldn’t quite read. Despite all of the horrible things she’d been screaming at Lexa she knew the other woman hadn’t wanted any of what had happened to happen.

 

Clarke slowly shook her head no. Lexa took a slow, deep breath then let it out and held her arms open; Clarke hesitated before crashing against the brunette, shaking. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry I don’t hate you…”

 

“I know that. It’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s not, nothing is okay. I killed him Lexa…I just…”

 

“Saved my life. They would have killed me Clarke.”

 

Clarke couldn’t stop shaking. She dug her fingers in to Lexa’s shoulders and tried to stop the sobs but she couldn’t. 

 

She felt Lexa sigh and wrap her arms around her waist, picking her up. Clarke instinctively wrapped her legs around Lexa as she carried her back into the room they’d been sharing. Lexa sat down on the bed and tried to move Clarke but the blonde just clung to her and she knew she was going to have to just ride it out. 

 

“Clarke... shhh... you’re ok.”

 

Clarke pressed her face harder into Lexa’s shoulder. Despite her years of training she couldn’t get a grip on her emotions or the fact that she’d just shot an unarmed man for reasons she didn’t even know if she believed. In her mind she was no better than the murderers she worked so hard to put behind bars. 

 

After a few minutes she became dimly aware of Lexa’s hand running slowly up and down the middle of her back, her other arm holding tight around her waist. She also realized she still had her legs wrapped around the other woman. 

 

“Getting better?” Lexa whispered as she felt Clarke’s crying slow. 

 

“No. Just running out of tears I guess.”

 

“Do you think you can let go of me so I can show you something? It might make you feel better.”

 

“I don’t deserve to feel better. I’m horrible.” 

 

“Clarke... you are not a horrible person. This assignment is... rough. It’s going to make you question who you are a lot. Please let me show you something that will help.”

 

“Do you ever fall apart like this?”

 

“I have, yes.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really. The first time I killed someone in a situation similar to this, I was a wreck. I almost quit. It’s why Gustus, Anya and Indra were brought in. I couldn’t handle it alone. I don’t know that anyone could.”

 

Clarke sighed into Lexa’s neck; her crying had slowed to a trickle and the way she’d treated Lexa was starting to sink in. She leaned back so she could look at her and was surprised when Lexa smiled. 

 

“I’m so sorry. Lexa... I didn’t mean anyt-“

 

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay.”

 

“It’s not. I’m sorry. I don’t hate you. God you were so nice to me as I was screaming at you... and hitting you...”

 

“I’ve been there and I was alone. I wasn’t going to let you be too.”

 

A half smile tugged at the corners of Clarke’s mouth as she leaned in and kissed Lexa. It was soft and hesitant until Lexa’s hand came up to tangle in her hair, pulling her closer. Clarke sighed as she pulled back and pressed her forehead against Lexa’s. 

 

“Thank you.” She whispered, tears starting to roll down her cheeks again. 

 

“You’re welcome. Thank you... I know what it took for you to do that. You really trust me.”

 

“I do.”

 

“I know you hate yourself, and I hope it’s something you can get past, but you really did save my life out there.” 

 

“You told me if a situation like that came up that I’d have to go with my gut. The way Jaxon smiled at me when I said there was some missing... he was enjoying that. I knew he’d shoot you...”

 

“He would have.”

 

“I couldn’t...”

 

“I know. Thank you.”

 

Clarke was going to respond when the alarm on her phone went off. 

 

“Fuck.” 

 

She huffed, dropping her head on to Lexa’s shoulder. 

 

“Bellamy?” Lexa asked quietly.

 

“Yes... I have to call him.”

 

“I know. Do you want me to leave?”

 

“No...I mean...unless you want to?”

 

“Whatever you need from me.” 

 

“I don’t even know right now. I just... I can’t process anything right now.”

 

“Okay. Well, you have to start by unwrapping yourself from me and getting your phone.”

 

Clarke huffed as she unwrapped her legs from around Lexa’s waist and stood up. Lexa was surprised to find that she missed the contact. She reached out and squeezed Clarke’s forearm as she walked away to get her phone. 

 

Clarke smiled sadly, grabbed her phone and sat on the couch. She took a few deep breaths before hitting dial on Bellamy’s number. He picked up on the second ring. 

 

“Hey baby.”

 

“Hey handsome.”

 

“Thanks for calling.”

 

“I told you I wouldn’t let it happen again.”

 

“I know, and I’m sorry I got so mad. I was out of line.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“How was your day? You sound upset.”

 

The concern in his voice brought tears to Clarke’s eyes and she brushed them away with the back of her hand. 

 

“No, I’m okay. I’m just tired.”

 

“You seem more tired than normal, are you sure everything is ok?”

 

“I’m fine. You know how I am with new things, I’m just stressing out that I won’t do well.”

 

“You’re doing great Clarke. You’re good at what you do, I’m sure you’re doing way better than you think.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Have you gotten to do anything cool yet?”

 

_Do you count killing a man cool?_

 

“No, nothing yet. I’m mostly just observing. It’s long days though.”

 

“Yea, I’m sure it is. I miss you. The bed is lonely without you, the house is too quiet.”

 

“I’ll be home tomorrow night. I thought you’d be enjoying a break from me. No one to nag you about the little things. How many cups are on your nightstand?”

 

“None...”

 

“Uh huh. You’d have ever cup in the house on that thing if I never made you pick them up.”

 

“Okay maybe three. But there won’t be any when you get home.”

 

Clarke laughed softly.

 

“I miss you too Bellamy.”

 

“Do you?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“You’ve seemed... different lately.”

 

“Just a lot going on. You know how I get. I’ll make it up to you when I get home.”

 

“Oh will you? And how will you go about doing that?”

 

“You’ll just have to wait to find out.”

 

“All these years and you still drive me crazy woman.”

 

The open affection in his voice tugged at Clarke’s heart; she loved him, but it also reminded her that it wasn’t the same way he loved her. 

 

“That’s because I’m crazy.”

 

“Only in the best ways.”

 

“Oh, you’re just sucking up now. I’m gonna get going ok? Tomorrow is my last day and I want to get enough sleep. I’ll call you before I leave tomorrow and let you know when I’ll be home ok?”

 

“Okay, have a good day tomorrow. Stay safe. I love you.”

 

“I will, I love you too.”

 

Clarke hit end and leaned back on the couch, her head resting against the back of it, staring up at the ceiling. She heard Lexa moving around the room but didn’t bother looking to see what she was doing. She was too lost in her own thoughts. 

 

Lexa waited until Clarke was done on the phone before getting up and getting her laptops and a hard drive out of her bag. One laptop was one she used in her dealings with Mortem, the other was FBI issued. She carried both all of the time and Mortem frequently had the one she used with him checked. 

 

She pushed the nagging jealousy she felt when Clarke told Bellamy she loved and missed him aside, or at least tried to. She knew going in to their arrangement that Clarke was married and there was the very real possibility that she would stay that way. 

 

After a while of staring at the ceiling Clarke looked over to see Lexa sitting in the bed, leaning back against the headboard; one laptop was in her lap and one was on the nightstand next to her. 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Waiting for you to come over here so I can show you something.”

 

“Sorry, you could have said something.”

 

“I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready.” 

 

Clarke stood up from the couch and shuffled over to the bed. She felt like she’d been run over by a truck and all she wanted to do was curl up with Lexa and go to sleep. 

 

_With Lexa...god what have I gotten myself in to?_

 

Lexa was surprised when Clarke climbed into bed next to her and curled up against her side, her head resting on her shoulder. 

 

“Any chance this can wait until tomorrow? I feel like death.”

 

“No... I know how much you’re beating yourself up and I hope this helps.”

 

“Okay, fine.”

 

They spent the next hour scrolling through files; first about the man Clarke had shot and then about Mortem. 

 

The man she had shot was a registered sex offender, had a history of domestic abusive and several charges of armed robbery. He’d also been suspect in a few rape cases but there hadn’t been enough proof. 

 

“So... he didn’t have a wife and kids?” Clarke said quietly after staring at the screen for a minute. 

 

“No, he doesn’t.”

 

“But...”

 

“Jaxson said that to fuck with your head. They knew you’d have no problem shooting a criminal, so they painted the picture of some random guy. Turns out he’d been slowly stealing drugs and selling on his own for a while but got too bold. He knew he was going to die; that’s the price you pay for stealing from Mortem. No sense in running, it would have made it worse when it finally happened.”

 

“I...god that’s twisted.” 

 

“It is. Mortem is...twisted doesn’t even cover it.”

 

Lexa switched computers and plugged in the hard drive. Clarke was horrified at all of the information on Mortem. There were crime scene pictures of murders he’d ordered, pictures of children he’d sold into trafficking, and an endless list of other crimes that all linked back to him. 

 

“My god...”

 

“This is what I’m trying to stop. It’s why this assignment is so important to me and has taken over my life basically. One person in control of so much... evil. And I know taking him down won’t stop all of it, but it will screw up a lot of it and a lot of people will go down with him.”

 

“It sounds... personal to you, the anger in your voice when you talk about it.”

 

“It is.”

 

“Why?”

 

Lexa smiled sadly as she shut the computer down and gently closed the lid. She set it on the nightstand and tugged on Clarke’s arm. 

 

“Come here.”

 

“Where? I’m right here.”

 

“Hm, closer.”

 

Clarke shook her head and moved so she was straddling Lexa’s lap. 

 

“Here?”

 

“Yea, that works.”

 

Lexa put her hands on Clarke’s hips and kissed her forehead. 

 

“You ok?” 

 

Clarke whispered as she snuggled against the front of her, her head under her chin. 

 

“Yea, I’ve just... I’ve never told anyone why this case is so personal.”

 

“You don’t have to tell me.”

 

“I know.”

 

Lexa was quiet for a long time, softly running her hand up and down Clarke’s back or running her fingers through her hair. She was quiet for so long Clarke assumed she had changed her mind until she finally started speaking.

 

“Both of my parents were killed when I was four.  I remember them, but not much anymore. There were no other relatives to take me so I ended up in foster care.  It wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t home either. I never stayed in one home very long; I was a tough kid, a lot of anger and I wasn’t very open or affectionate.

 

I knew I wanted to be in law enforcement from the time I was in fifth grade, so I became very focused on school, getting good grades and staying in shape. I never had much of a social life or friends and I was fine with that; I always figured it would get in the way. When I did, it typically didn’t end well, like with prom.

 

Growing up I knew my parents had been killed but no one ever would give me details in to how or why. It was the first thing I dug in to when I became a cop.  Turns out they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were out driving one night and got lost. They came across a deal that was happening, much like the one tonight, and got out of the car to ask for directions or help. They were shot on the spot; my dad first and then they drug my mom out of the car and shot her too.

 

I had been with a babysitter for the night; they weren’t found until the following day when the babysitter called the police because they still weren’t home. Once I found out what happened, I became obsessed. I dug up every fact I could find about who had shot them, who they worked for, and so on.

 

It took a few years, but I finally pieced it together enough to figure out it was the person who had run this ring before Mortem. It became my singular goal in life to shut it down. I did as much as I could at the level I was at but realized it wasn’t much, so I joined the FBI. Eventually I got enough evidence together to convince them to start this assignment. And you know the rest.”

 

Clarke was quiet for a few minutes then softly kissed Lexa’s neck before leaning back so she could look at her.

 

“Thank you.” She whispered.

 

“For what?”

 

“Sharing that with me. You didn’t have to. I didn’t need to know.”

 

“Maybe you didn’t need to, but I wanted you to. I want you to know how committed I am to this. I know what I’m asking from you is a lot… probably more than you realized until tonight. I think it might have been more than I realized until tonight… and I’m okay if you want out. I get it. But please know this isn’t just a job to me.”

 

“I don’t want out. And I’m sorry for how I treated you. I know you understand, but that doesn’t make it okay. I feel horrible. About a lot of things, but it sounds like I’m in now. Let’s take this bastard out.”

 

Lexa’s smiled slowly widened as Clarke spoke and it wasn’t the first time the brunette’s beauty took her breath away.

 

“Thank you, Clarke.”

 

Clarke nodded and leaned against Lexa’s chest again.

 

“Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.”

 

“Of course. Do you want me to go in the other room?”

 

“No… please stay?”

 

“I will, I just didn’t want to assume…”

 

“I don’t want you to leave.”

 

“I don’t want to leave either.”

 

Clarke smiled and moved off of Lexa’s lap and laid on her side on the bed. Lexa turned off the light on the nightstand and laid down facing her. They laid and just looked at each other for a while before Lexa reached out and tugged on the front of Clarke’s shirt. Clarke smiled and went willingly in to her arms, pressing herself close and wrapping one arm around Lexa’s back, her fingers wrapping themselves in her shirt.

 

Lexa rested her head on the top of Clarke’s and closed her eyes. Clarke’s hold on her tightened slightly and she wrapped her arm around the blonde’s waist.

 

“You okay?”

 

She asked quietly, her thumb rubbing soft circles on Clarke’s skin.

 

“Yea… just… trying not to over think this.”

 

“Go to sleep Clarke, you’ve done enough thinking for the day.  Everything will be there to think about tomorrow.”

 

“I know… good night Lexa.”

 

“Good night Clarke.”

 

Clarke’s last thought before drifting off to sleep was how quickly she’d become comfortable being wrapped in Lexa’s arms and how much she was going to miss it when she went home.

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments if they are kind. If you don't like the story, please feel free to stop reading. Negative/nasty comments are not welcome here. Thanks
> 
> Come say hi on Instagram, @more.than.just.surviving
> 
> No, I will not tag who is endgame. It’s a story, you have to read to find out. If it was a book, you wouldn’t know the end before you started reading. 
> 
> Comments asking/telling/insisting/suggesting that I change my tags will be ignored. I’m not changing them. Period. You’re free to type out the comment if you’d really like, but you’re wasting your time. I will delete it and the tags will remain the same. 
> 
> Comments disrespecting either ship will also be ignored and deleted (this includes referring to Bellarke as anything but Bellarke, I consider Blork to be disrespectful because I know how the fandom uses it). You are welcome to say that you don’t like particular scenes/things if it is done in a respectful way. Otherwise, the comment will never see the light of say. I don’t tolerate the ship wars bullshit.


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